Although it is said marriage is for better for worst, Couples can change, slowly and for the better.
Note: This may be my most personal post in 20 years of writing online. Please read until the end. Thank you.
My wife has been going through a tough time. I don’t want to overshare but she’s fighting a three-front battle that’s taking an emotional toll on her:
- She’s dealing with menopause.
She’s sleeping poorly, she’s been ill-tempered, and she has little energy to do the things she once loved doing: planning parties and vacations. In short, she hasn’t been herself, she knows it, and she’s struggling with it.
- Our kids are growing up.
My wife quit her 16-year career when our daughter was born. After choosing “eternity leave”, she became a kick-ass stay-at-home parent. Class mom. School treasurer. Center of the Calabasas mommy-verse. Now, the kids are in 5th and 7th grade and my wife’s job description has changed to “chauffeur.”
Soccer practice. Drama club. Hebrew school. Sleepovers. Birthday parties.
It’s great for the kids; it kind of sucks for her.
- It’s time to change – and my wife doesn’t do change.
When I told her to take a personal growth seminar 17 years ago, my wife said, with a smile, “Evan, you do all this self-help, and yet I’m happier than you. So, please stop telling me what books I should read or what classes to take.”
Basically, she told me to shut the fuck up – and she was 100% right.
She WAS happier than I was.