The Ten Most Typical Marital Intimacy Issues

What causes intimacy issues in marriage?

There are a few things that can cause marriage intimacy issues. Here’s a look at five you may want to pay attention to if you notice them in your relationship.

1. You aren’t communicating

You may be experiencing intimacy problems in marriage because you and your partner are not communicating. It is important to take time each day to  talk to each other, even if it is just for a few minutes a day.

Imagine how you would feel if you didn’t know anything that was happening in your spouse’s life. This could cause you not to get near them when you see them.

Try to fix your communication problems as soon as you notice them. It will take time and effort.

2. There’s no trust

In some cases, a marriage with no intimacy occurs because there is  no trust in the marriage.

Perhaps you have caught your spouse in a lie, or they have caught you in one. This will probably alter how often you want to talk to each other and how often you want to be sexually intimate.

It doesn’t matter whether you are the one that was at fault or not; you can still try to make amends and improve the relationship. Talk to your partner and ask them how they feel about the situation and together, you can find common ground.

3. Infidelity

Another reason there may be signs of intimacy issues in your marriage is due to one or both of you being unfaithful. This can cause problems with both intimacy and trust, which can be difficult to overcome but not impossible.

However, a study conducted  found that in many cases, a person who has been cheated on will consider that they have a right to cheat back.

If this happens in your marriage, repairing your relationship may be extremely difficult. You may need to work with a therapist for expert help.

4. Too much stress

You may find that you have a marriage with no intimacy because one of you is stressed out. You may have too much to do, be worried about something, or are under a lot of pressure at work.

Whatever you are going through, it is important to manage your stress levels and one way to do that is to talk to someone you trust.

If you can trust your partner and they are willing to support you, they can help you pick up the slack in certain areas if you are too busy to finish all the tasks you need to do, or they can provide you with their perspective if you are unable to find a solution to a problem.

5. Changes in life

So many changes can happen in a person’s life that can put intimacy on the back burner.

For instance, if someone is grieving, if they are pregnant, or they are going through menopause and have seen many changes take place to their body, these are all reasons why it may be difficult to be sexually intimate with a partner.

However, it may be possible to help your mate by staying close to them and supporting them in any way you can. This can help lessen the extent of intimacy problems for married couples.

 

What are examples of intimacy issues?

There are several problems with intimacy in marriage that are possible. Here are 3 of the most common.

1. No desire for intimacy

Sometimes, a person may not want to be intimate with their partner. This could be due to one of the reasons listed above or because they aren’t interested in having sexual intimacy with anyone.

However, if  you don’t want an emotional communication with your partner, you should stop and evaluate why this may be the case. Someone other than this may be the right person, or you may need to work on your communication.

2. Not liking yourself

If you struggle with intimacy in marriage, it could be because you don’t like yourself. You may think you aren’t good enough for your partner or be self-conscious  about your body or how a relationship works in general.

At the same time, if you are with someone you trust, you can explain how you feel to them. Chances are they will understand and be patient with you.

Together you can determine how to improve your intimacy. You can do this by going through marriage therapy  with each other, or through other ways, such as learning more about intimacy and keeping communication open at all times.

3. Being afraid

Something else that could happen when you have problems with intimacy in marriage is that you are afraid of intimacy. This could happen if you haven’t been in a serious relationship before or recently got out of a bad relationship or marriage.

Again, if you are with someone who cares about you and you love, it is okay to be afraid but also to confide in your partner. They may surprise you with how they want to protect you and help you get over this fear.

Remember that there is more to a marriage than sexual intimacy, so you can start by building up other types together.

10 intimacy issues in marriage that cause discord

Here are some of the problems with intimacy in marriage that you may face. If you have any of these signs of intimacy issues in marriage, you can still work through them, so don’t give up.

1. Expecting monogamy but no action

If you expect your partner to remain faithful in your marriage, you should be willing to give them a reason to be faithful. Your partner has their share of sexual needs, which must be fulfilled.

If you barely have sex with your partner, they may search elsewhere for fulfillment.

2. Lack of fulfillment

Lack of fulfillment is a major intimacy issue in relationships that plagues marital happiness. In such cases, marriage becomes a pressure rather than a relief, as the constant tension between you and your partner may increase. Talk to your partner about it with an open heart and discuss your needs.

Tell them your needs are emotional and sexual, and finding sexual comfort from other sources won’t lead to emotional support.

3. The awkward sex

It happens to everyone in our lives and is just a situation you have to deal with.

Sometimes you’re sleeping and your partner gets aroused out of nowhere at 3 am in the morning.

Sometimes you both are talking about something serious and the next moment they are on top of you, believing that this will solve all the problems in the world.

Being married does mean that you and your partner are now lawfully wedded and whatever you do in your sex life with each other is permissible as long as each partner agrees.

That, however, does not give anyone the license to skip the foreplay and the intimate talk and then start right away with the sex. This rather causes a fear of intimacy in one of the partners.

4. Misalignment in intimacy levels

Misalignment in intimacy levels and desires of partners is a strong catalyst in giving rise to intimacy issues in marriage. One partner may want to engage in intimacy more often than the other person, which creates problems.

If both parties are not interested in being intimate, this should not cause issues.

You should always be fair with your partner and understand that you can’t get what you want all the time, and they can’t either. Together you can decide when you want to cuddle when you want to have intercourse, and when you want to do other things.

Remember that sex only satisfies your body; it’s romance and foreplay that satisfies the soul!

5. It’s her problem

No intimacy in marriage? It’s always her problem, isn’t it?

It’s one of the most common and equally bizarre intimacy issues in marriage and has more to do with the woman’s perception. When you’re trying to conceive but can’t, it can become a mental challenge for you and your partner.

Even if your husband has fathered a child in the past, that doesn’t automatically mean they are still potent.

In such situations, it is best to get a full-body checkup to discover who has the underlying issue. While it may not solve the intimacy issue, it will help both of you realize the physiological problems that affect your sex life and help overcome intimacy issues in marriage.

6. Too exhausted to engage in sex

One of the intimacy issues in marriage that frequently rears its ugly head is when either of the partners is not up for sex.

It could be attributed to a hectic job or an insipid but all-consuming family life. It can be a blow to your married life if, as a sex couple, you lose the closeness and intimacy that you once shared with your partner.

Scheduling sex and planning weekly date nights can be the answer to sprucing up your married sex life.

Be mindful of balancing scheduling with a strong sense of spontaneity to restore intimacy in your married life.

7. Watching porn and forming delusional images

Watching porn with your partner can contribute to healthy sex lives when watched in measured proportion.

However, porn can become a problem if one partner doesn’t like the other watching porn. In contrast, the other partner builds porn addiction and forms an unrealistic fantasy of a potential sexual partner who doesn’t exist.

Watching too much porn can lead to a lack of intimacy in marriage, a serious emotional discord between a couple, and give rise to multiple intimacy issues in marriage.

8. Marriage success and intimacy are largely intertwined

Intimacy issues in marriage can sabotage the love bond between you and your spouse beyond repair.

Marriage intimacy problems in the bedroom can be a prelude to irreparable damage in your relationship with your spouse. No intimacy in marriage consequences includes infidelity, lack of self-esteem, broken connection with a spouse, deep-seated resentment, separation, or divorce.

If intimacy issues are cropping up in your marriage, take it as a warning sign that danger lies ahead. Take stock of things and work at resolving these intimacy issues in marriage for a fulfilling married life.

9. Your feelings have changed

There’s a chance that your feelings have changed for your partner.

Perhaps you have seen them do things that make you feel less attracted to them or you haven’t been emotionally intimate with each other in a while. This can make it hard to want to have sex with them, especially if you don’t discuss these things with them.

It is best to talk to your spouse when you have an issue that must be resolved. You can start the process of building up many types of intimacy with each other if this is something that needs to be improved and needs to be fixed.

10. You need mental health support

Have you been diagnosed with a mental health condition? You may not want to be intimate with your partner when you have a mental health issue that must be addressed.

It would help if you worked with a therapist when it could benefit you. If you need more clarification, think about whether you feel like yourself. This could help you understand that you need help.

Along with getting treatment for the issue that is ailing you, a professional will also be able to talk to you about many ways to improve intimacy with your partner and what the process looks like.