After an affair, couples often feel blindsided by the betrayal. In this article, we shall discuss the tips to affair-proof your relationship.
“I have no clue how we got here,” one partner will say. “I can’t believe this happened to us.” But therapists who counsel couples in such a position usually have a very good understanding of why it happened. And they also know what couples can do to stave off an affair in the future’.
Experiencing emotional or physical betrayal in your relationship is extremely painful. Give yourself the best chance at preventing infidelity by being clear on what you need from your partner in order to feel secure in your relationship. Remember to honor what’s right for you since your relationship needs might be different from the needs of others.
Couples who experience an affair in their marriage often feel as if their very foundation was destroyed. The revelation of an affair is a traumatic event and healing takes a long time.
Can you really “affair-proof” your marriage? Yes, and I want to share some tips for how you and your partner can do that together.
I have seen many couples in my practice and, while most of these couples do have difficulties, many find ways to work through their problems while also remaining faithful
Once you’ve established what your relationship needs are for security, communicate these to your significant other. Examples might be “I’m not okay with my partner going outside of our relationship to get his or her needs for attention and affection met” or “I’m not okay with my partner spending time with someone that has a romantic interest in him or her“. Make sure you’re both on the same page in terms of what is and isn’t cheating. Informing your mate about what’s right for you is a form of boundary setting.
It’s not enough to simply make your needs known. You must be willing to re-evaluate your relationship and take action if your partner is unable or unwilling to respect what makes you happy.
In order to avoid mistrust consider not doing anything that you would feel uncomfortable doing in your partner’s presence. A betrayal isn’t simply engaging in sexual intimacy with someone outside of your relationship, although that would definitely be a betrayal for most. It can also include confiding intimate details about yourself and your relationship to someone else, choosing to spend quality time with a person that makes your partner feel insecure and excluding your mate from important events in your life.
I’ve come up with the following 20 Guidelines To Affair-Proof Your Relationship to help you sustain a strong and happy connection with your partner:
- Have Regular Date Nights
- Make Time for Sex
- Flirt with your Partner
- Frequently Go to Bed at the Same Time
- Keep Your Life Interesting and New
- Laugh and Have Fun Together
- Be Affectionate
- Call At Regular Intervals to Check In
- Develop Meaningful Traditions
- Be Happy As An Individual
- Remain Attentive and Connected
- Put 100% in to Your Relationship
- Don’t Let Resentment Build
- Make Your Partner Feel Important
- Be Appreciative
- Focus on The Good in Your Relationship
- View Your Partner as Your Equal
- Boost Your Partner’s Confidence
- Let Your Partner Know What You Need
- Be Emotionally Honest With Each Other
In conclusion, it helps to remember that you can’t control your partner but you can significantly influence the level of security and happiness in your relationship and create the best possible environment for its long-term success. Making your marriage affair-proof is well worth the time and effort. It does require time and attention to your relationship but the efforts are well worth it with the security that comes from knowing you are in a committed relationship. I hope you find this article helpful.
