Table of Contents
The stronger the bonds, the longer they stay.
1. Meet New Friends Online
The days of meeting friends online being creepy are long gone.
Since I became a writer, I have worked from home and been a stay at home mom and this made meeting new people difficult—until I opened my mind to the idea of making friends online.
Over the past year, I have made at least 10 close friends online through Facebook groups for writers.
None of my new friends are creepy or weird, they are open books online so we talk about our families, careers, and share photos of our pets. These online friends have been better friends to me than some of my friends in real life.
Also, I always have someone to chat with, regardless of the time of day since they are all in different time zones!
We video chat and talk on the phone. I am proud to say, I now have friends from all over the world.
In fact, this is how Sira and I became good friends and I am thankful for her every day.
How Do You Know Your New Friend Is “for Real” Online?
- Their Facebook profile has at least 200 friends. Bonus points if you have mutual friends who enjoy this person as well. If you don’t have mutual friends, take a look at who they are friends with, this could give you more insight into what kind of person they are.
- They have many photos of family and friends, pets, and are transparent about their “real life”.
- They have an actual photo of themselves as a profile pic or share selfies on the regular (not an avatar or stock photo).
- If you get a weird feeling, discontinue your communication. Always listen to your gut instinct.
- If they ask you for anything, like money or favors, I would be wary of this and discontinue your communication. If you met them through a group, report this activity to the admin.
- The best way to know if someone is “for real” online, is to ask them to video chat with you. Not only is this fun, but it will also put any fears to rest if you are new to online friendships.
2. Reconnect With Old Friends
If you’re stuck at home, this is a great time to rekindle old friendships.
Call that high school friend that you lost touch with, message your former work friend who has moved onto a new job and ask them how life is, and reconnect with any family you may have lost touch with.
Adulthood is strange, we want to have friends but there seems like there’s not enough time in the day to sustain meaningful interactions. But now is the time.
How should you approach an old friend or colleague?
Send them a quick message on Facebook or via text message. “Hey, I have been thinking about you, how have you been?”.
Another great way to reconnect almost instantly with someone is reminding them of a share experience or an inside joke, simply using the phrase “Do you remember when…?“
“Do you remember when we went to Paris and I lost my wallet?” “Remember when we played video games in your old house every single afternoon?“
If they answer back, and they seem to be open to reconnecting, keep the conversation going.
Often times, when a friendship is true, it can be months or even years since you talked and it feels like “old times” when you reconnect. It’s a great feeling to talk with an old friend and realize that nothing has changed!
3. Try at Work
If you are asking yourself how to make friends, keep in mind that you can always build great relationships at work.
First of all, if you are an essential worker, bless you. Thank you for everything you are doing to ensure the public gets what they need. Mad respect.
Granted, this must be a difficult time for you, and social interaction will be important for you.
Friendships with coworkers will help you wade through the stress of being an essential person during a global pandemic, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to.
If you are introverted and struggle to make friends, keep it simple.
When you notice someone at work that you want to be friends with, compliment them.
Make sure you mean it, of course, and remember that compliments are one of the best ways to strike up a conversation.
You can compliment your coworkers on their clothing choice, or even say their lunch smells good and ask for the recipe. The conversation will flow from there, just be yourself.nBefore I became a writer, I worked in healthcare for many years and having just one friend at work, made a world of difference for me.
I looked forward to seeing this person and we could vent to each other if we were experiencing a stressful day.
4. Sustain the Connections You Have
Making new friends is not the only thing we should aim for. Knowing how to improve our relationships is essential for our wellbeing as well.
This last year has really taken a lot out of us, and from us. Most of us feel lucky to have made it through by the skin of our teeth. But self-care is really important and one of the most important aspects of self-care is maintaining the relationships we have in our lives.
When we are stressed, many of us retreat into ourselves. We stop calling and messaging friends and just live our day-to-day lives.
While this is an easier approach, it’s not the best way to deal with stress. We all need to have a friend and if we push the people in our lives away, we may end up without anyone to talk to.
Don’t become too busy for the people who matter most to you, remember the good times you had with them, and know that just because you can’t get together with them right now, doesn’t mean that you can’t sustain the relationship.
A simple trick I’ve learned from Forbes is to make a “ToWho™ List”.
A ToWho list is a list of personal and professional contacts that you need to maintain contact with.
You can write the names down, and set a time each day, week, or month that you want to be interacting with this person.
The excuse “I’m too busy” is no longer valid. In my belief, technology has made maintaining friendships as easy as sending a “What’s up?” text.
I have seen friendships end and ended them myself because someone seemed “too busy” to do this. Social media and texting have somehow shown us who our true friends really are.
So if you are neglecting your personal relationships, stop it.
And make a ToWho list today.
5. Join Meetups
Joining meetups is one of the the best ways to meet new people.
Meetups are events organized for those who want to expand their network or try new activities, and for expats who want to make friends in a new city. These events are also a great opportunity to meet people from other countries as many meetups are language exchanges.
There are plenty of events you can join, all you have to do is check out the official Meetups website and search the meetups in your town. You can also organize your own events. Amazing.
