Detailed Tips On How To Choose Between Two Men

Being equally attracted to two guys is a tough problem to have. They both have amazing qualities, and you wish you could mash them together to make one perfect boyfriend. But this isn’t a fantasy, and eventually, you’ll have to choose between them.

Listening to your intuition is important, but you can also take a more practical approach. In. this article, we shall discuss detailed tips on how to choose between to men

The conundrum that dating presents is that you may talk or go out with several men at the same time. The idea is that you don’t get too emotionally invested in one (especially because you have to assume he’s dating other people too), and you get the chance to know a few guys at once so that you can find exactly what you’re looking for.

The problem is: what happens when you end up caring for two of them? You’re left with a difficult decision, and of course, you don’t look forward to hurting either one of them.

You’ve enjoyed your dates with both of them. The competition is fierce.

When it comes to choosing between two men whose company you enjoy, you need to go beyond the kinds of questions you ask when you’re just getting to know each other.

Can You Have Feelings For Two Guys?

Having romantic feelings for two people at once is more common than you might think.

And thinking, “I like two guys,” doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s not easy to be faced with the question, “Which man do you choose?”

Here are your options if one of them is asking for an exclusive relationship:

  • Say yes and immediately put the other guy on notice.
  • Thank him but ask for more time to consider what he’s asking.
  • Say no, taking the risk he’ll push you away and pursue another.

Obviously, if you’re not sure yet which man to choose, response #2 is the safest option.

But getting closer to a yes or no answer is the goal here.

How To Choose Between Two Men: Questions To Ask

The following questions will help you decide what to do when choosing between two guys. Answer them carefully and honestly for both of the guys you like.

1. What does he want from the relationship?

You can also ask, “Where does he see the relationship headed?” Is he thinking, “Let’s move in right away so we can really get to know each other”? Or is he more inclined to continue living separately for a while until you get to know each other better?

How much time does he want to spend with you during the week, and what does he want to do with you? Is he already thinking of marriage and kids, or would he like to date for a few years before even considering “the M-word”?

2. Do you want what he wants?

When he describes the kind of relationship he wants with you, do you want that, too? Does his idea of moving forward match yours?

Would you be ready to move in with this guy if he asked? Or would you feel pressured to go faster than you want? Would you rather live separately but spend time together in each other’s homes — maybe your place one night and his place the next? And how often?

How do you picture your time together?  And are your goals compatible?

3. What do you enjoy doing together?

Aside from the predictable romantic shenanigans, what do you two enjoy doing together?

When it comes to going out, where do you both like to go? Do you have enough in common that you find it easy to settle on what to do? Do you ever feel as though one of you gets to choose more often than the other does?

Do you enjoy competing with each other? If so, is he a good sport? Or does he get sullen or depressed if the results fall short of his expectations?

4. Can he be open and vulnerable with you?

Have you had any heart-to-heart talks where he opened up to you? Does he feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you?

Maybe you’re the only one with whom he feels comfortable opening up. Or maybe he’s an open person who’s not afraid to be vulnerable with anyone he cares about.

Or maybe he’s just not there yet. You’ve had some deep conversations, but you can still feel a wall between you. What would it take to remove it?

Would you vote for the same person in the next election? Or do any of your moral beliefs or values clash?

Do you find it stressful or impossible to talk to him about certain moral or political topics?

You don’t have to agree on everything, but do you agree on the dealbreakers? Or are you hoping to persuade him to your way of thinking?

6. What do you like about this guy?

Make a list of all the qualities you like about each guy. Circle the qualities most important to you. Make a separate list of qualities you want to see but haven’t seen yet.

When have you noticed their admirable qualities? Is it possible they were on their best behavior to impress you? Or were they displaying those qualities when they thought no one was looking?

7. What do you see in this guy that bothers you?

What do you see in each guy that raises red flags? Has he said or done anything at all that made you think, “Uh-oh”?

Think about all the times you’ve spent together and be honest about whether he made you feel uncomfortable at any point. For example, has his behavior suggested he likes to be in control? Or have you noticed him checking out other girls?

Maybe what bugs you is harmless stuff like forgetting to put the toilet seat down. Write it down, anyway.

About the Author

A Public Speaker and Freelancer who is Interested in Writing articles relating to Personal Development, Love and Marriage.