11 Ways To Deal With a Breakup and Smile!

Your willpower and your determination are the only things that matter when it comes to moving on after a breakup. Nothing else will help you, not your friends and not a string of flings.

Hold your ground, convince yourself that you’re ready to move on and get away from the pain. And use these steps to move on and deal with a breakup.

1. Stop communicating with your ex – cold turkey!

Being friends with the person you’re madly in love with may seem like a cheap joke. That’s because it is.

You may try to reason, “I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than nothing,” but the truth is… you wouldn’t.

Immediate post-breakup is not the time to be making nice with your ex. If this process ever happens, it shouldn’t be for a very long time.

Trust us, you’re only looking to be an emotional punching bag should you choose to stay friends at this emotionally vulnerable time in your life.

Until you’ve figured out how to move on from an ex and completely gotten over them, you’re not ready to take a stab at the *ill-advised* friendship route, so for now, it’s cold turkey for you!

2. Grieve

Some friends might encourage you to “get over it” in the best way possible, but the truth is, you need to take the appropriate amount of time to grieve your relationship when you are dealing with a breakup.

You’ve ended not only a bond of love but a familiar routine that you were used to having in your life. Naturally, it’s going to take some time to get over.

In order to know how to move on from an ex you still care about, bottling up your feelings and pretending as if you aren’t going through an ordeal isn’t healthy and can actually slow down the healing process.

That’s not to say that you should follow every impulse, no matter how spine-tinglingly orgasmic they might be. After all, running out and setting his car on fire while sending spite texts to his friends may err on the psychotic side. Maybe.

3. Let yourself feel it

There’s no use in hiding the pain away. Don’t try to bury it down deep because when you allow it to get that far down, it’ll just fester.

You’ll end up feeling even worse in the long run. You need to let yourself feel the breakup. Live through the emotions and cry and scream and let it all out.

4. Make your breakup playlist

Now that you’re deep into the grieving mode, it’s time to sift through your music and create the perfect playlist.

Grab whatever embarrassing breakup music you’ll be ashamed to tell your girlfriends about several months from now, blare that shit, and cry it out. Warning: this may take days.

Feel free to spice up the genre of your breakup playlist from sad to angry any ol’ time.

5. Replay your relationship

While you’re sitting alone and staring at a wall or an empty glass of wine, replay the relationship in your head. Pick the mistakes and the flaws in the relationship and try to see where things started falling apart.

But remember to pick the mistakes, not the pieces of the relationship. The love affair is over. What you need here is to try and figure out where you went wrong, and where your partner hurt you.

Were you trying too hard to please, insecure, clingy, or were you just too busy with your own life?

And about your ex, try to pick their flaws too, so you don’t fall for another person with the same flaws again.

6. Look for the good in your breakup

When you are dealing with a breakup, try to look on the bright side. Believe it or not, every breakup does have one. Maybe things were toxic between the two of you.

Maybe now you have more time to focus on your own needs. Think about the great things that can come from this and it’ll help you move on in a healthier way.

7. Reflect on the good in your relationship

Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your relationship was all bad. There were great things. Focusing on remembering your relationship for the good will help you avoid slipping into a negative headspace.

But just because you’re remembering the good in your relationship doesn’t mean you should pine for your ex back. Sure, there were good moments in the relationship, but they clearly weren’t enough to hold you two together.

You should reflect on the relationship like it’s a bittersweet chapter in your past, not something you want to rekindle.

8. Recognize the problems you both had

You need to admit what went wrong. In order to fully move on, you need that closure. Both parties probably did some wrong. Think back to what happened and recognize the problems in the relationship.

Not only will this help you move on, but it’ll also assist in a successful relationship down the road since you’ll know what mistakes not to repeat.

9. Don’t write letters

There’s always a constant itch to get in touch with an ex when you are dealing with a breakup, when you feel down, when you listen to a romantic song, or even when you’re drunk.

But hold that thought. Never try to get in touch with an ex unless you’re just bumping into them accidentally. It’ll weaken your resolve to get over your ex.

If you find yourself writing a long email to your ex, write it if you must but don’t send it. Hold on to that draft copy overnight.

When you wake up in the morning, you’ll realize that it was just a weak moment and you don’t really want to send the text anymore.

By waiting a while, you’d be able to feel stronger about your own resolve. The same rule can be applied to phone calls too.

If an uncontrollable urge to call your ex overwhelms you, don’t stop yourself. Instead, just convince yourself that you’ll call the next morning if you still feel like it.

Each time you put away a phone call or text, you’ll feel more confident about getting over your ex and moving on.

10. Write down how you feel in a daily journal

In order to learn how to move on from a relationship, you have to figure out how to get your emotions out. A great way to do that is through writing.

Jot down how you feel and why in a daily journal. It helps track your progress in a healthy way and seeing your emotions written down can often help you process them more.

Getting your thoughts and feelings out in any capacity *diary entries, writing short stories* can be cathartic for getting over someone you love.

11. Deal with the addiction

Exes are an addiction, just like any other serious life-threatening addiction in the world. And the worst part here is that you can’t really cut down a little bit at a time.

You have no choice but to go cold turkey and avoid all contact. It will hurt and you will feel terrible, but you’ll feel better a week later, and even better another week later.

Treat your ex like a bad addiction, and learn to deal with the breakup. It’ll help you when you start to see your ex as something that’s bad for your life.