To help them empty their emotional baggage and address their trust issues, show them that they can leave the past in the past. Prove to them that whatever it is they carry, they no longer need it because you got it covered.
Here’s how you can do that:
Table of Contents
1. Identify patterns
Maybe your loved one doesn’t even know that they’re struggling under the weight of emotional baggage. Maybe this is how they’ve lived their life for a long time now. If so, they could think that this is normal and something everyone deals with.
You might have to observe them for a while to figure out what patterns show they’re holding on to the past.
If you notice what these patterns and triggers are, you can talk to them about their behavior with evidence to back you up, as well as help them to avoid certain triggers and form new, healthier, patterns of behavior.
2. Actions speak louder than words.
For people with a lot of emotional baggage from their past, this is not their first rodeo. There has no doubt been countless people from their formative years who left them, cheated on them, abused them, and left their imprint on their heart. Your words likely mean nothing.
They heard the promises before. If you want to help your significant other, stop telling them who you are and prove it. Actions speak much louder than words.
The more you show that you can be trusted, the more stuff they eliminate from their emotional bag.
3. But remember that communication is key
Yes, you should absolutely show up and prove yourself to be someone that this person can depend on while they go through the difficult journey of letting go of their emotional baggage. But, you still need to make communication a priority.
How are you meant to help each other if you don’t know what the other person is thinking? While you support them in whatever way they need, you also need to frequently check in with how they’re feeling. And also communicate how you’re feeling if any problems arise.
Healthy communication will help to speed up their recovery process and maintain a strong relationship.
4. Be honest with each other
That is really the best way to communicate. If you’re both honest, you can come to some great solutions.
That means your loved one has to be honest with you about their past, how it affects them today, and why they haven’t let go. At the same time, you need to be honest about why you’re concerned and how their behavior affects you.
In the worst-case scenario, you also will need to be honest enough with each other to end the relationship. Whether that’s because they can’t move on from something in their past or because you can’t help them set down their emotional baggage and look to the future.
5. Look past the overreaction
People carrying a large amount of emotional baggage overreact because they simply can’t take any more. If you want to help alter their perception of reality, give them a pass when they flip the hell out. We know, you shouldn’t “have” to put up with it, and you don’t.
