Tip #1: You should stop settling on the wrong qualities.
I encourage you to distinguish between “attractive” qualities and “important” qualities and start valuing the “important” ones more. Important qualities include: easygoing, selfless, happy, supportive, fun, stable, honest and consistent.
Do those adjectives describe your exes? If not, perhaps that gives you some indication about what you SHOULD be looking for in a man.
Tip #2: You must be the CEO of your own love life.
A man can’t treat you in any way you don’t allow yourself to be treated. Instead of seeing yourself as a needy, unemployed intern, begging for the approval of rich, confident, handsome men, I want you to carry yourself like the CEO.
He’s auditioning to be YOUR boyfriend; if he doesn’t make a consistent effort to show up at work each day, he doesn’t get the job – no matter how impressive his resume.
Tip #3: You must act like a confident woman.
There’s a big difference between thinking you’re smart, pretty, and accomplished and carrying yourself like a confident woman with men.
Being attractive and impressive may get you in the door with a guy, but having healthy boundaries is what will make him respect you and want to commit to you.
Being attractive and impressive may get you in the door with a guy, but having healthy boundaries is what will make him respect you and want to commit to you.
Those three tips are important, and, properly implemented, they will make a considerable difference in how you see yourself, how men see you, and how you evaluate men.
But there’s one other tip I want to offer you.
When I stopped to think why I had success in getting women’s attention before I got married, despite my depression, anxiety, and financial instability, this was it:
Bonus Tip #4: Assume the answer is yes.
Call it the ego that comes with being raised in a doting Jewish family, but, in ten years of dating, it never once occurred to me that my dates could do better.
I know! It’s almost comical in its delusional self-confidence!
But the same way you should think you’re the best person when you’re interviewing for a job, you MUST think the same thing about yourself when it comes to dating.
So, from this moment forward, when you show up on a date, you assume the following things:
He likes you.
He wants to sleep with you.
He wants to date you.
He wants to commit to you.
The ONLY thing that’s left to decide is whether YOU’RE interested in him.
If he doesn’t follow up for a second date, you think: HIS LOSS!
That’s what it means to assume the answer is yes.
It’s a bottomless reservoir of confidence that carries you through rough patches and helps you soar when you’re seeing men you’re attracted to.
It’s a bottomless reservoir of confidence that carries you through rough patches and helps you soar when you’re seeing men you’re attracted to.
No more low-self-esteem.
No more late nights checking your phone or the dating site.
No more long breaks from dating.
All that matters is whether he’s making the effort to see you again.
If he doesn’t, he’s gone.
You’re the catch. You’re the prize.
If he’s too stupid to figure that out, that’s his problem.
Once you assume the answer is yes – and start acting like it – men will treat you accordingly.
By the way, if this sounds like some sort of mind trick, think of the men you find most attractive.
Do they act weak, needy, fearful or insecure?
No!
You ALSO like men who assume the answer is yes:
The man who picks up the phone to plan a date.
The man who calls the day after to ask you out again.
The man who makes a bold first move to kiss you.
The man who offers to take his profile down because he knows you’re into him.
Try it on for size. How does it feel to have supreme confidence at all times?
