Everyone has a past, but some people hold on to theirs more than others. If someone you know carries too much emotional baggage, here’s how you can help. When someone you love is struggling, whether you know the signs or not, you can tell. But often, having but that gut feeling that something isn’t right not knowing the exact signs to look for can be frustrating and oftentimes cause more problems.
If you think that someone you love is being weighed down by their emotional baggage, here are the signs to look for.
1. Being triggered by certain reminders
It’s funny how the meanings of things can change throughout your life. What used to just be a song that you used to feel indifferent about can become your favorite song in the world because it becomes tied to a happy memory or a special someone.
But if that special someone is no longer in your life, or if that happy memory becomes tainted, then that simple song can become a reminder of something great now gone.
And when you’re overburdened with emotional baggage, reminders like that can trigger feelings of regret, remorse, grief, or depression. If you notice that the mood of someone close to you becomes worse around certain triggers, like specific songs being played or particular times of the year, they might be struggling with something from their past that they haven’t let go of.
2. Codependency
If you are struggling under the weight of your emotional baggage, you might seek someone to hold on to some of, or all of, that emotional weight. And so, you latch onto people.
But this isn’t healthy in any relationship. When you allow yourself to become codependent on someone, not only do you put your own happiness and internal stability in the hands of someone else but you also suffocate and put too much pressure on the other person, which can ruin the relationship.
If your gut is telling you that your partner is too reliant on you, don’t ignore it. Instead, calmly talk to them about their past to see if there’s a reason for their dependency.
3. Stuck in the past
One of the worst parts of emotional baggage is that it won’t let itself be forgotten. Like a parrot on your shoulder, it will constantly remind you of your ex or old friends. It will make you think of happier times, and how hurt you felt when you lost those.
You’ll know if your loved one is letting their emotional baggage disrupt their life if they’re constantly thinking back to the past rather than focusing on the present or planning for the future.
