Table of Contents
No matter the connection some personality traits should be avoided
1. Dismissiveness
Processing and weighing the conceits of every person that crosses your path is impossible. It’s admirable to try, but ultimately a foolish venture. There’s not enough time in the day, and you wouldn’t have time to think anything through.
But overtly dismissing the thoughts, opinions, and ideas of family, friends, and “nuclear colleagues” is rude, fractious, and more than a touch arrogant.
Want to avoid being the inconsiderate snoot who treats others like they don’t have a brain in their skulls? Mind these tips:
- Be a good listener. It may be hard at first, but the better you get at it, the better communicator you’ll become.
- Look at people when you talk with them. Doing so will help you focus on the conversation at hand.
- Foster a sense of humility; understand that you can learn something from everyone.
2. Perfectionism
Many people were pushed into a perfectionist mentality because of their upbringing. Some are victims of parents who expected too much. Others come to perfectionism because they were neglected and are trying to prove something. Whichever the case, It’s murder on your mental health, and it can make you difficult to be around. After all, not a single human on this planet can pass the perfect test. Holding yourself and others to impossible standards is a no-win situation all around.
Do you want to shed the yoke of perfectionism? Try these tips:
- Learn to appreciate that mistakes help you grow and become a better person.
- Concentrate on the purpose and meaning behind things instead of the details.
- Open yourself up to criticism and learn how to accept it gracefully.
3. Lack of Sympathy / Empathy
Sympathy is when you feel compassion for someone going through something you’ve never experienced. Empathy is understanding another’s pain because you’ve been through the same thing or something similar. Sympathy and empathy are fundamental to healthy interpersonal relationships — professionally and personally. It’s not an exaggeration to say that civilization and community wouldn’t be possible without them.
Want to work on being more empathetic and sympathetic? Consider the following points:
- Read more. Studies show that people who read a lot have more compassion for others and themselves.
- Become a better listener.
- Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes.
- Ask more questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
3. Jealousy
Please don’t listen to people who tell you never to be jealous or that it’s 100% avoidable. Unfortunately, jealousy is one of those things — (like lying, which we’ll get to below) — that’s part of the human condition. It’s impossible to go through life without the occasional suspicion, humiliation, or tinge of anger about a real or perceived threat to personal status or interpersonal relationship.
The trick is not letting it get out of control. A bit of jealousy every so often is normal. But it’s a problem when it becomes a habit and causes you to lash out.
Do you want to curb your jealousy? Try the following:
- Start journaling. People who write down their thoughts and feelings tend to be more even-keel and have better perspectives.
- Practice gratitude and mindfulness.
- Develop your self-confidence.
- Work with a therapist to uncover the root of your jealousy.
4. Envy
We know what you’re thinking: Aren’t jealousy and envy the same thing? They’re similar, but there’s a significant difference. Jealousy is an unpleasant suspicion that gets your back up. Envy is when the source of your discontent is rooted in someone else’s advantages.
Envy foments resentment, leads to illogical thinking, and prevents you from living up to your potential. When you’re constantly counting other people’s assets and focusing on their good fortune, you fail to focus on your goals and life.
- Count your blessings; we all have some.
- Understand that luck is a huge part of life, and let it go.
- Reduce the amount of time spent on social media.
5. Hypercompetitiveness
There’s nothing wrong with healthy competition. It can be motivating and push people to greatness. But adopting a win-at-all-costs mentality is corrosive. It ruins relationships and sucks the joy out of life.
Being overly competitive skews perceptions and often leads to unhinged and unreasonable behavior.
To avoid letting your competitive edge metastasize into something ugly, try these tips on for size:
- Compete with yourself instead of others.
- Learn to appreciate everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, including your own.
- Grow your confidence and contentment so you don’t feel the need to “beat” others.
6. Aggression
Acknowledging your range of emotions is vital and a pillar of good mental health. But learning how to balance them is also essential — and curbing aggression should be a top priority.
Approaching life from a place of rage is unproductive. Moreover, it builds walls between you and others, making it difficult to form fulfilling relationships and friendships.
So if you want to be calm, cool, and collected, consider the following:
- Aggression is usually rooted in unaddressed trauma; dealing with past pains head-on can help you move on.
- Learn your triggers. What makes you go from zero to 80 in .5 seconds? Pinpointing those things and developing de-escalation tools helps.
- Internalize the idea that most people don’t enjoy rage-filled blowhards; if you want to “fit in” and “be liked,” chilling out is the best path.
When assessing others, try not to confuse aggression with extroversion and boisterousness. Moreover, remember that cultural and regional differences hugely impact acceptable and expected levels of bluntness. So be graceful, and remember that one person’s “aggression” is another’s “enthusiastically engaged.”
