Hi guys. Today on relationship matters, we’ll be taking a look at the mistakes in marriage. Your marriage is not a mistake.
It is not uncommon to see people complaining now and then about their marriage or the person they got married to as the case may be. They regret ever getting married to such person and imagined if they had just settled down with one of their numerous exes or the guy/girl next door.
However, these fantasies end up doing little or no good. Reasons being that marrying a different person doesn’t always guarantee a different result or a better outcome. It is obvious, as we can see some divorced people who later remarried and went through similar or worst ordeal than their previous marriage.
So, what went wrong this time? Will they be bold enough to say they made a similar mistake twice? I doubt. This is big enough proof that your marriage isn’t a mistake.
Table of Contents
1 Reasons why your marriage is not the Mistake
2 10 unknown mistakes in marriage we must avoid2.1 1. Your habit is the mistake
2.2 2. Your anger is the mistake
2.3 3. Your lack of show of love is the mistake
2.4 4. Lack of interest in sex is the mistake
2.5 5. Lack of attention is the mistake
2.6 6. Impatience is the mistake
2.7 7. Selfishness is the mistake
2.8 8. Infidelity is the mistake
2.9 9. Putting old family before the new family is the mistake
2.10 10. Ignorance is the mistake
Reasons why your marriage is not the Mistake
For the sake of analogy, think about these;
When a car has a flat tyre, we do not abandon the car, but we fix the tire and move on. Don’t abandon your marriage, fix it.
When our headaches, we do not get rid of our head no matter how severe it is. We end up treating our selves. Don’t get rid of your marriage, treat it.
When we have challenges at work, we do not refuse to go to work. We go there anyways and eventually overcome the challenges. Stay put in your marriage, and overcome the challenges faced.
Often, we see others having a beautiful marriage. It amazes us and might even make us envious because ours happens to be the direct opposite. We feel it’s all rosy at their end until we get to know them and see the amount of hard work that they put to keep their marriages as beautiful as always.
So tell me, how much work do you put to make your marriage a happy one? If you put in as much effort in your marriage as you put in your place of work, you’ll see some positive difference in your marriage.
We’ll be taking a look at where we all got it wrong in our marriage or better still the mistakes we make in our marriage. Remember, your marriage is not the problem.
10 unknown mistakes in marriage we must avoid
1. Your habit is the mistake
When you are single, you are free to do whatever you want because you are on your own. The moment you get married, there are certain things needed to be changed for you to keep your partner happy. In other words, there are times you need to compromise for the one you love.
Get rid of the idea that he or she will love me the way I am. My dear, things don’t work that way in reality. Remember, it’snot all about you anymore but the both of you.
Recommended: Is a relationship really about compromise?
2. Your anger is the mistake
The saying that life is not a bed of roses applies to marriages too. Be rest assured that you’ll be provoked by your spouse now and then. This doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t love you anymore.
How you tackle these situations will determine the fate of your marriage. Learn to control your anger and also learn to forgive or ignore if need be. Feel free to discuss the issue with your partner when your head is calm. Trust me, he/she will understand.
3. Your lack of show of love is the mistake
This is not me implying that you don’t love your spouse. Love is a very deep word anyways. It is possible to completely be in love with someone and still be unable to express it.
Now, that’s a problem when it comes to marriage. Being unable to show that you love your partner can make him/her start having doubt. With doubt comes lack of trust. I bet no one wants that for his/her marriage. Try and remind your better half every day how much you love and cherish him/her by saying or showing it.
4. Lack of interest in sex is the mistake
This is one mistake that is usually overlooked. Most marriages that end up broken by so many reasons usually have sex as the foundation of these reasons. The moment a partner who is still adventurous feel his/her partner is not performing well enough to his/her standards, he/she might be tempted to look outside. It takes self-discipline and selflessness to keep yourself together.
Also, the moment you make your partner beg/plead with you before giving him/her sex, then your partner will most likely look for here to be getting sex without stress. Discuss sex with your partner now and then if it’s something you happen to take seriously.
5. Lack of attention is the mistake
Don’t be too busy with your day to day activities that you forget that you are married. Marriage is a lifetime institution, so you have to pay attention to it every day because a lifetime is a long time.
Often, couples stop giving each other attention when they start bearing children. The love that they both share now has a third party. Most times, the children happen to be the highest share other in the distribution of love and attention.
This makes a couple spend more time pleasing their children that they gradually feel indifferent about themselves. That’s why most divorced couples usually have only the interest of their children in common.
This is not to say that couples shouldn’t bear children. It’s far from that. In as much as you should bear children, don’t make them come between you guys. Remember, you didn’t get married solely to bear children.
6. Impatience is the mistake
Earlier, I explained how our habit can be a mistake in our marriage. If you notice a questionable habit from your spouse, in as much he/she is doing everything to unlearn such habit, try as much as possible to exercise patience.
For God sake, it’s already a habit and it takes time to unlearn one. Learn to be patient with your spouse and you’ll see things turn out for the better.
7. Selfishness is the mistake
You cannot be selfish and have a happy marriage. Go along and read that sentence again. Better put, you can’t be selfish and have a happy relationship with any normal person.
It ‘s not debatable, it’s plain fact. Remember, man, know thyself. For this reason, examine yourself today and kill any trait of selfishness to your spouse if you have one. Remember, an unexamined life is not worth living.
8. Infidelity is the mistake
Marriage is not dating (boyfriend and girlfriend) and it should not be treated as such. You can’t go about having sexual intercourse with other people and expect your spouse to be cool with it. If you happen to be on this table, I’ll advise you to turn a new leaf before you get caught. However, if you’ve already been caught, apologize and be sincere about it.
Don’t be a proud human being. Failure to apologize and change may bid your marriage goodbye. This is the most shameful reason for one to lose his/her marriage.
9. Putting old family before the new family is the mistake
This is a very tricky one. When one gets married, his/her spouse and children become the new family. Though your old family played a big role in what you are today, wisdom should be applied when dealing with both families.
I’ll advise you make your spouse understand that he/she is still your number one priority even when you have to displease him/her for the sake of your old family. Like I said, apply wisdom.
10. Ignorance is the mistake
Lastly, this is one of the biggest if not the biggest mistake. Remember, ignorance is not a mistake. If you are ignorant of at least one of the aforementioned mistakes of a marriage, then I’m sorry to break it to you that your marriage is standing on a thread.
I’ll advise you yield to these advise and start taking action today. Never again should you blame who you married or your marriage.
Recommended: The role of each partner in a relationship/marriage
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