You simply have to play to your strength as a man. Since women speak three times more than we do, the answer isn’t to try and catch up with them by speaking more; the answer is to listen more than they do. Whenever your wife desires to engage you in a conversation, and you really don’t feel like talking, but you know you probably should just start by asking her 3 strategic questions:
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1. “What are you most thankful for today?”
By asking your wife this question, you’re getting her to focus on what’s right in her life, not just what’s wrong with it. You’re helping her to find something she can feel good about and also something you can celebrate with her about. When she tells you what she’s thankful for, follow up with, “Why are you so thankful for that?”
2. “What do you think about _____ (anything interesting that’s happening)?”
This question shows your wife that you value her wisdom and opinions. You could also get her thoughts or solicit her input on a tough decision you’re facing concerning your job, the kids, a friend, or anything else.
3. “What did you struggle with most today?”
This is a great question to ask, because you give your wife a chance to share what’s going on in her heart and thoughts, and you’re giving her a chance to vent her frustrations, fears, and worries. If you are a man who prays, it will also reveal what you need to pray for.