Confidence!!! How freaking annoying is that word? It’s what you constantly hear everyone telling you that women find most attractive. But what the hell does it actually mean? How does one even become confident and why is it so freaking attractive to women? Let’s tackle the last question first because that’s the most important one, right? Why is confidence so freaking attractive to women? It’s attractive because as a woman I want to be attached to the man that provides me with the highest chance of keeping me alive. Sorry, I know I just took you back to the cave days by going all biological and evolutionary on you. But, you have to think of things in that way to truly understand why women go gaga over confidence. David Buss, writer of The Evolution of Attraction or Desire, (I totally forget), a professor of evolutionary psychology, and past guest of my popular podcast, What She Wants (available on iTunes) has stated that women are most attracted to attributes that bring them closer to resources that will guarantee optimal survival. Now I know some of you trolls and bitter men out there who will be writing nasty things on my comment wall after this video will take in that information to mean that all women are just money-hungry, but I assure you that’s not what it means. Even though we are no longer living in the cave days and daily threat of death is no longer an issue, survival and surviving well is still a thing. And those around us that seemingly have attributes like good health, wealth, intelligence, social status, friendship circles, and character are people that we want to attach ourselves to.
On a non-evolutionary level, but an emotional level, women are attracted to men with confidence because we innately feel that these men will be able to take care of us no matter what happens. A confident man will know what restaurant to go to, he’ll know how to take care of us in the bedroom, he’ll know what to do if there’s danger, he’ll know how to handle my emotions, he’ll know how to take care of me, which in turn will make me want to take care of him. Simply put, confident men do. And they do it well. Being around a man who knows what to do is intoxicating.
Since we’re on a sciencey path (talking about evolution), I wanted to share something really interesting with you. They found that men with the words, “maybe”, “sort of”, “kind of”, and “not sure” in their profile in opening messages, got 25% less attention online. These stats show that women are not only turned on by men with higher confidence, they’re actually repulsed with men with lower confidence. Which leads me to answer one of the other questions I asked at the start of this video. How do you become more confident? You become more confident by doing. Ask for her number even if she potentially could say no. Ask for a date even if you could be rejected. Go for the kiss even if you might land on her cheek. My point is to start going for it and being okay with it if things don’t go the way you want. Just doing and going for what you want when you want it is going to grow your confidence.