What Are The 5 Love Languages And How Do You Identify Them?

What are 5 love languages and how do you identify them? If asked, do you know the answer?. Can you comfortably tell someone what the 5 love languages are and how to identify them?.

According to Gary Chapman, the author of the best-selling book the 5 love languages. He said love should begin at home, in your immediate family, that is from your parents and siblings.

People speak different love languages. And to have a successful thriving relationship, you need to understand the love language of the other person.

There are 5 distinct ways you can communicate the language of love to one another. It is very rare to find two people, especially spouses speaking the same love languages. That is why it is imperative to learn and understand your spouse’s love language to be able to communicate it effectively.

The key to a long-lasting loving relationship is to identify and learn to speak your partner’s love language.

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Love plays a central role in life. The need to feel love is a primary human emotional need.

Everybody can do anything for love literally. That is why you can see someone travels mountains and across oceans to come to see the one they love. Love is very fundamental to human nature and it is something we will need for the rest of our lives.

Material things can not substitute or take the place of the need for love in our lives. Everyone irrespective of their age, status in society has a love tank that needs filling up. When your love tank is full you will exhibit love naturally.

But when not, you become isolated and withdrawn, emotionally depressed even.

Have you ever done something to prove love to others? If you have do let us know.

The in-love and Real-love stage.

Do know that there is a difference between the in-love stage and the real love stage.

If you don’t know what that is, keep reading on as I will be soon explaining that concept.

The in-love stage is euphoric, obsessive, and dependent. At this stage, you hardly see the faults in the other person, even if your best friend is seeing the red flags.  Unfortunately, the average love span of an in-love experience is two years according to research carried out by the late psychologist Dr. Dorathy Tennov. The euphoria of the in-love stage gives the illusion that you are meant to be together forever.

Human nature is egocentric and not at all altruistic, our world only revolves around ourselves. You can only love someone when you feel that person loves you too. That is why it’s very easy to stop loving someone when your feelings ain’t reciprocated.

To achieve real love, we will have to recognize the in-love stage for what it is. And pursue real love with our partner which requires hard work.

The real love phase is not an obsession, it is emotional and takes a conscious effort to make it work.

It unites emotions with reasons and it recognizes the need for personal growth. The human basic need is to be genuinely loved by others and not just to fall in love.

Real love makes the conscious effort to decide to love. It sees in you something worth loving. Having this kind of love will give you real satisfaction with having being loved and loving someone genuinely.

For us to have emotional health, the emotional need for love needs to be met. Note: love is an attitude. If we can cultivate this attitude deliberately, then we can share a love that will be exciting than the in-love euphoria stage.

Now to answer the question, what are the 5 love languages? 

1. Among the 5 love languages we have Words of Affirmation:

one of the ways to express love is to use words of affirmation.

Many partners fail to understand the power of affirming love to their partners. some even go as far as saying action speaks louder than words so they tend to ignore words of affirmation.

Most times your partner just need to be reassured with words of your mouth telling her how much you love him or her.

Words of affirmation are a powerful love communicator tool. They can be expressed simply, but it goes a long way to filling up your partner’s emotional love tanks.

You can use words of compliments like ” you look wonderful in that dress”, you look handsome with that hair cut, thanking him/her for little efforts made to enhance the relationship.

If partners hear words of affirmation daily, it will go a long way in improving their emotional climate. In addition, they will feel loved and appreciated.

Read Also: 101 Words of Affirmation to Spice Your Relationship 

2. Receiving Gifts

A gift is something you hold onto to remember someone or to have the feeling that the person thought of you to get you that gift.

It is a symbol of the thought the person has towards you, it’s not necessarily the gifts that count but the thought behind it. Gifts are a visual symbol and representation of love. Even as kids when growing you have this tendency to give your mother gifts, it can be sharing a portion of your food, or even picking up a flower from the garden for her. Giving and receiving gifts are more important to some people than others.

some people have different attitudes towards gifts that’s why you see some reactions to wedding rings differently than others.

A wedding ring signifies inward and spiritual bonds. Gifts come in all shapes and all sizes, to those that their love language is receiving gifts the cost of the gifts matters little to them.

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When you buy gifts within your means it is greatly appreciated but does not underbuy gifts as it will seem like an insult to the other person.

3. Spending Quality Time Together

quality time requires attention, focus, and undivided attention. When you spend time together, ensure you give him or her your undivided attention. Not watching videos or playing with your phone when he/she is wanting to just talk with you.

You can spend quality time by taking a walk, going out to eat, talking, and just looking into each other’s eyes while generally enjoying each other’s company. Spending quality time is a strong indication of love.

If you spend 20 to 30 minutes of your time with each other, you are giving each other 20 to 30 minutes of your life and it can never be regained.

Giving quality time entails:

i. Giving them focused attention:

In this era, with so many distractions giving your partner undivided attention will speak volumes to them.

Quality time entails us doing things together and giving our full attention to each other. The activity is inconsequential, the important thing is they get to spend quality uninterrupted time with each other.

You can have quality conversations, quality activities, and quality time.


4. Physical Touch

it is a way of communicating love to one another. Holding hands, kissing, sexual intercourse and embracing are ways you can communicate love.

Some parts of the body are more sensitive than others, physical touch can either make or mar a relationship. A slap can be detrimental to someone whose primary love language is physical touch, while a tender touch can communicate volumes of love.

5.  Act of Service  

Acts of service simply mean doing what you know your partners would like you to do for them.

You express your love by doing little things for them. This can be cooking, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, washing the dishes e.t.c.

Note: a person can speak more than one love language. But they have a love language that is primary to them.

In conclusion, you can identify what the 5 love languages are by paying attention to the love language your partners speak. what does he or she do for you naturally? Is it an act of service, physical touch, giving of gifts, or is it words of affirmation and spending quality time? 


About the Author

A Love Doctor Who Passionately Shares Love And Finance Tips