At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of fear and self-doubt. In this article, we shall discuss the ways to overcome self-doubt.
Self-doubt can be debilitating. It can hold you back from pursuing your dreams and living the life you really want. Self-doubt can also make it hard to complete necessary daily tasks and make simple decisions.
The good news is, it is possible to overcome self-doubt and quiet that negative self-talk. Here’s how:
1. Take Charge Immediately
When inner doubts start to creep up, many people let them spin out of control and fully take over. Once this happens, it’s incredibly difficult to regain control.
It’s important that you take charge immediately and stop the negative talk as soon as it begins. In your mind, speak to yourself and say something like, “No. Nope, we’re not gonna do this.” Should the negative talk start-up seconds later, talk to it again and put it in its place. Doing this interrupts your thought patterns – which are basically thought habits – and eventually your inner self-doubter will realize you’re serious and retreat.
2. Remember, You Can Always Make Adjustments
Many times, people are so fearful of making mistakes, they take no action toward their goal. But reaching a goal should be thought of as going on a wonderful car trip. You have a map and a basic route planned out, but along the journey, you may decide you want to hop off the highway and try a scenic byway instead. You may decide to backtrack and stop at that cute little souvenir shop. Sure, all of these changes to your initial itinerary may add a little time to your trip, but you’ll still get to your destination. And you’ll get there with more photos and T-shirts and wonderful memories!
Trying to plan every single move you will take to get to your goal can be exhausting and impractical. Just take the first step, then another, and then another… and remember, you can always change your mind and adjust along the way.
3. Talk To Someone
Self-doubt can easily become distorted and exaggerated when you keep all of your thoughts to yourself. But, when you speak to someone and let those thoughts out into the light, you have the chance to hear how exaggerated they may be. Also, talking about your doubts with a therapist who is supportive is a great way to gain a fresh perspective.
If you or a loved one is afflicted with self-doubt and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
4. Write Yourself A Handwritten Letter.
Sometimes a kind word or compliment from someone can totally bring me out of a slump, and I’m sure you’ve experienced a situation where someone made your day.
But what if you’re feeling low and unconfident and no one is around to pick you up? Well, there will always be one person left to uplift you, and that’s you. A great exercise that I’ve come up with is writing myself a handwritten letter.
This negative, doubtful, scared part of ourselves is our shadow side, and we all have one. And just as we have a shadow, we also have a light side, the positive, optimistic, and productive self.
What I do is actually write a hand-written letter from my light side to my shadow side basically saying that everything will be okay, and I even list all of the things I have accomplished recently to help me feel better. (It really does work!)
5. Listen And/Or Read Positive Material On A Daily Basis.
One of my quick go-to ways to boost my confidence in a jiffy is to listen to some of my favorite self-development books. My favorite sources are:
- The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
I’ll put the audiobooks on my iPod and listen to them when I’m walking to work, taking the subway, or just strolling out and about in the city. I find it gives me a nice reminder of my potential. It’s an instant pick-me-up
6. Write In A Gratitude Journal At The End Of Each Day.
It’s far too easy to wallow in pity and focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do have. Giving those feelings energy will only create more situations in which we come up empty-handed.
Instead of focusing on what you are lacking, focus on what you do have and what you have accomplished. This fosters a feeling of gratitude, and when you invest energy into gratitude now, you’ll start to find that you’ll be rewarded in the future.
Feelings of gratitude put you in a positive frame of mind. When you’re feeling positive, you’re feeling good. And when you’re feeling good, good things happen.
7. Identify Your Biggest Fans And Then Nurture Those Relationships.
No (wo)man is an island—meaning you can’t do it all on your own. Sometimes all you need is a little reassurance, and your biggest fans are the people who do just that for you.
You first need to identify your biggest fans—the friends, family members, and peers who think you’re the cat’s meow, and who have always been there for you. Friends who tell you that you’re awesome, just because.
Then, put your energy into fostering deeper and lasting relationships with these people. We all have them, so nurture those relationships and draw strength and confidence from them.
8. Go To Your Mantras For Support.
I have a set of mantras that I’ve come up with over the years that I basically repeat whenever I doubt myself. The mantras remind me of how far I’ve come and that I’m doing great things for myself.
They also remind me to slow down, be easy on myself, and always listen to my heart.
One of my favorite mantras I use is “You are loved.” Doubtful feelings can arise when we feel we’re not good enough, and that can stem from feeling like we are not loved. By repeating this mantra, I remind myself that people in my life do love me, that I am good enough, and that I need not doubt myself.
At one point or another, we will all find ourselves experiencing some sort of self-doubt; it’s part of being human. What I’ve learned as I continue on my own journey is that feelings of self-doubt usually arise when we aren’t fully feeling loved.
I’ve learned that by surrounding myself with my biggest fans, by focusing on my own goals, and by practicing gratitude I can experience love more deeply, minimizing feelings of self-doubt.
I hope you find this article helpful as well as interesting.
