You’re not the only one asking, “Why is my grown daughter so mean?” or “Why is my grown son such a manipulative jerk?” And you wouldn’t be the first parent to blame yourself.
That said, the following reasons may help explain some of their behavior:
- They see their more successful peers as proof your parenting held them back.
- They don’t want to hold themselves to account because it’s easier to blame you.
- They’ve yet to learn how to own their challenges and step up.
- They’re still figuring things out, in other words. Whether or not they do is on them.
Disrespectful Young Adults
How many of the following behaviors sound familiar?
Even parents who’ve “done everything right” have disrespectful adult children.
You love your kids, even when they’re behaving like overgrown toddlers.
But that doesn’t mean you have to live with them or protect them from the real world.
What Does It Mean When a Grown Child Disrespects Parents?
Adult children’s disrespect could be rooted in several fertile, proverbial soils. Common culprits include:
- Spoiled Past: Spoiled Kids have more difficulty adjusting to the “real world.” Helping them see this is tough but often effective.
- Mental Health Issue: Poor behavior is often a symptom of a mental health issue. A professional assessment could make a world of difference.
- Pathological Self-Centeredness: Is the onerous child pathologically self-centered? Unfortunately, it could be as simple as that, and the only path to familial peace is personal growth.
- Immaturity: Humans aren’t a monolith; we all develop on different timelines. The disruptive adult child in question may need a few more years to get their act together.
Discussing disrespectful behavior with an adult child can be difficult, but it’s also an excellent opportunity to identify and heal generational wounds. Remember that people who feel great act well, and vice versa.
So if your child is acting-out, it may be a cry for help. Vulnerability almost always serves both parties in these situations, and those brave enough to confront the issue head-on usually enjoy a significant amount of positive growth in return.
