The 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child

You’re not the only one asking, “Why is my  grown daughter so mean?” or “Why is my grown son such a manipulative jerk?” And you wouldn’t be the first parent to blame yourself.

That said, the following reasons may help explain some of their behavior:

  • They see their more successful peers as proof your parenting held them back.
  • They don’t want to hold themselves to account because it’s easier to blame you.
  • They’ve yet to learn how to own their challenges and step up.
  • They’re still figuring things out, in other words. Whether or not they do is on them.

Disrespectful Young Adults

How many of the following behaviors sound familiar?

  • Emotional hostage-taking with threats of suicide or self-harm
  • Selective hearing and selective memory — always at your expense
  • Constantly reminding you of your  mistakes as a parent
  • “Borrowing” your money, your clothes, etc. without asking
  • Stonewalling whenever you try to talk to them about their behavior
  • Taking advantage of your time and resources while being unproductive
  • Going ballistic whenever you refuse them something they want
  • Continually berating and pestering you to get something they want

Even parents who’ve “done everything right” have disrespectful adult children.

You love your kids, even when they’re behaving like overgrown toddlers.

But that doesn’t mean you have to live with them or protect them from the real world.

What Does It Mean When a Grown Child Disrespects Parents?

Adult children’s disrespect could be rooted in several fertile, proverbial soils. Common culprits include:

    • Spoiled Past: Spoiled Kids have more difficulty adjusting to the “real world.” Helping them see this is tough but often effective.
  • Mental Health Issue: Poor behavior is often a symptom of a mental health issue. A professional assessment could make a world of difference.
  • Pathological Self-Centeredness: Is the onerous child pathologically self-centered? Unfortunately, it could be as simple as that, and the only path to familial peace is personal growth.
  • Immaturity: Humans aren’t a monolith; we all develop on different timelines. The disruptive adult child in question may need a few more years to get their act together.

Discussing disrespectful behavior with an adult child can be difficult, but it’s also an excellent opportunity to identify and heal generational wounds. Remember that people who feel great act well, and vice versa.

So if your child is acting-out, it may be a cry for help. Vulnerability almost always serves both parties in these situations, and those brave enough to confront the issue head-on usually enjoy a significant amount of positive growth in return.

About the Author

A prolific love author who specializes in creating love stories often focused on the romantic connections between people which readers can identify with.