Table of Contents
- 0.1 The universe has a way of setting life for us, narcissists aren’t one of them
- 0.2 1. Get Support From Loved Ones
- 0.3 2. Focus on Yourself
- 0.4 4. Exercise and Eat Well
- 0.5 6. Go the “Gray Rock” Route
- 0.6 7. Go No-Contact
- 1 If an Old Supply Ignores a Narcissist, Would He Take It Out on the New Supply?
- 2 How Long Will the Narcissist’s New Supply Last?
The universe has a way of setting life for us, narcissists aren’t one of them
1. Get Support From Loved Ones
Your friends and family want to be supportive, so let them! Moreover, fill them in on everything. For starters, they need to know the whole story to support you properly. Furthermore, it’s best to explain everything before the narcissist elbows their way in and tries to start sowing discord and turning people against you.
2. Focus on Yourself
The best way to “win” a breakup is to be unbothered and take another step toward becoming your best self. So focus on yourself and your goals. If you don’t have any, start planning. After all, keeping your mind on something productive will make the post-breakup period go a lot quicker.
Mindfulness is much more than something your new-age-y, crystal-mommy friend is into. Through double-blind, peer-reviewed studies, scientists have definitively concluded that meditating, yoga, and journaling promote better physical and emotional health. Moreover, people who’ve built mindfulness into their daily routines display much better resilience than those who don’t.
4. Exercise and Eat Well
It’s a cliche, but how we eat plays a significant role in how we feel. The same goes for exercise. People who get their heart pumping at least once daily for about 30 minutes enjoy improved mental health. So if you’re splitting from a narcissist, and the situation is tumultuous, try to eat well.
We get it. You probably want to stuff your face with comfort food. And that’s fine for a couple of nights. But try not to let it become a habit because junky food leads to junky thinking and reckless emotions.
No rule says you can’t have a casual, rebound relationship. So get out there and have fun! So long as you’re safe and make it clear that you’re not looking for anything serious at the moment, the dating world is your oyster. Someone fun and uncomplicated may be just what the love doctor ordered.
6. Go the “Gray Rock” Route
“Gray rocking” is a term psychologists use to describe an effective method for communicating with narcissists in which you only give one-word answers and stick to mind-numbingly boring topics, like the weather. If your ex is trying to “hoover” you, and for whatever reason, you can’t go no-contact (which we’ll get to below), gray rocking may work and get them off your back.
7. Go No-Contact
Going no-contact is almost always the best route when severing ties with a narcissist. Block them from all your accounts and devices. Stay firm, and become immune to their charms. Remember: They will tell you what you want to hear to weasel their way back in, and once they do, they’ll start the cycle all over again. As a general rule, narcissists never change — so cut them loose for good.
If an Old Supply Ignores a Narcissist, Would He Take It Out on the New Supply?
This could go one of two ways, depending on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with and the situational dynamics.
For example, if you have a grandiose or malignant narcissist on your hands, and the new supply gives them a sense of material or social power, they may move on and not think twice about what came before. After all, most narcissists live in the present, and at that point, they’re satisfied.
In these cases, narcissists are often (fakely) wonderful to the new supply — until that person flexes their backbone or begins to see behind the veil.
Conversely, covert and communal narcissists may try to hold onto old supply out of fear. If their previous partner or friend doesn’t play along, they may start smearing them to anyone who will listen. Moreover, coverts and communals may treat their new supply with suspicion and begin to nitpick.
Because they want to hold onto as much as possible, and the thought of someone leaving them is intolerable. Resultantly, they may lash out and blame whoever is closest.
How Long Will the Narcissist’s New Supply Last?
New supply doesn’t stay fresh forever, but situational circumstances will determine whether it peters out in a month or a decade.
Suppose a covert narcissist gets their hooks into an empathic people-pleaser. That bond can last a long time if both parties continuously supply what the other needs. After all, people-pleasers feel most comfortable having someone to “support,” and narcissists take full advantage while bathing in their praise.
However, healthy, well-adjusted people typically don’t last long in the “supply” role. Once they begin to notice the red flags piling up, they usually see themselves out the door. When this happens, narcissists will try to weasel their way back into the lives of former sources, and the target’s personality style usually determines if it works.
Sure, we all have some narcissistic tendencies, but narcissism is destructive when it reaches a pathological point. You don’t need that type of toxicity in your life. So when your narcissistic ex finds a new love, keep it moving and don’t look back.
Consider their departure as a gift from the universe.