It can be really painful when someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with leaves you. You may even feel that your world is crumbling and that you can’t survive the next moment. If you have experienced this feeling before, you will understand what I mean. In this article, you will learn some of the signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma.
Sometimes, when people leave your life, it ends up being a blessing in disguise. And that is because they were never the perfect person for us.
Just like the popular saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens.
But we tend to focus so much on the closed doors that we fail to see the open ones in front of us.
It makes people fail to move on or get over the disappointments from their ex-lover. And this could degenerate into an unhealed relationship trauma.
Unhealed relationship trauma is deeper than you think. It’s triggered by your inability to move on because of your negative experience from your previous relationship.
Without further ado, here are 7 signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma;
#1. Annoying Physical Symptoms
The easiest way to know that you have unhealed trauma is when you start experiencing physical symptoms.
You may feel completely drained after a long-term relationship you work so hard to nurture ended without explanation.
Studies revealed that unresolved trauma can make normal aches and pain worse.
According to experts, trauma constantly puts your body on high alert. And that is because it activates your physiological fight, flight, or freeze response.
There are no two ways about it, a toxic relationship is stressful for your physical body and your mind.
And could degenerate into trauma when you endure such a relationship for too long because your body’s stress response is only meant to last for a short while.
Sadly, when your body undergoes severe stress due to toxic relationships, you will be prone to conditions like arthritis, heart attack, chronic inflammation, weakened immune system, etc.
Once you notice any of these physical symptoms, it’s pretty obvious that you have unresolved trauma.
Don’t ignore it, seek help from experts. Unhealed trauma can do more damage to your body than you can imagine.
#2. When Your Body and Mind Are Not Connected
Lack of connection between your body and your mind is one of the signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma.
It’s possible that since you ended things with your ex, you have been absent-minded. You feel that everything is your fault.
At some point, you may start recounting all that happened, and possibly think if you had done things differently, you guys would have been together.
When this continues for a while, you will start seeing your life like a movie that you are watching from the outside.
If you are experiencing any of these after a breakup, it’s obvious that you are feeling detached from reality or disassociated.
According to psychologists, it’s one of the frequently reported symptoms of unhealed trauma.
Dissociation occurs when you start disrupting your perceptions, memory, and emotions. It gives you the feeling that what happened to you in the past is still happening.
#3. Your Brain Will Start Working Differently
If your brain suddenly starts working differently after a traumatic event, it’s one of the signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma.
You may find it difficult to think clearly, confused, disorganized, and sometimes, you can’t focus.
This often happens when your body system is still experiencing the stress from your last toxic relationship.
All these affect the way parts of your brain function. So, you will feel out of control, you won’t be able to control, your memory will probably stink, and above all, you will find it difficult to explain how you feel.
#4. Major Trust Issues Even with People You Know and Love
When you have experienced heartbreak or just ended a toxic relationship, you will build a wall around yourself.
You will stop trusting or believing in other people. Perhaps, it’s because the trauma you experienced from a toxic relationship makes it difficult for you to feel safe with other people.
When you are at this stage of your trauma, your mind will start coming up with every possible doomsday scenario just to protect yourself.
With this, you will find it difficult to move on or allow people into your life, even those with good intentions.
#5. You Will Start Picking Fight and Engage in Risky Businesses
One of the signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma is when you start picking first with everybody and engaging in risky businesses.
When you are suffering from unresolved relationship trauma, you tend to always feel on the edge.
And to seek sensations, you may end up behaving irrationally. They get a rush or engage in risky activities as a way of feeling in control.
You will constantly feel like the only way to survive is for you to fight, it doesn’t matter whether your present situation is perfectly safe.
Additionally, people who experience dissociation due to trauma tend to lash out aggressively compared to those who aren’t prone to disassociation.
#6. You Have a Constant Sense of Shame
Having a constant sense of shame after a breakup could be one of the signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma.
Do you feel ashamed of yourself after your breakup? Do you always tell yourself that you are a terrible person and everything that happened is your fault?
If you have these thoughts in your head, it’s pretty obvious that you are yet to move on and you are still suffering from the trauma.
With this thought process, you will end up blaming yourself for everything.
#7. You React Physically to Emotional Triggers
Reaction to emotional triggers is one of the most common signs that you have unhealed relationship trauma.
When certain sounds or images still remind you of your ex, it’s obvious that you are yet to move on.
Some normal emotional triggers may take a darker turn if you have unhealed emotional trauma.
And when the memory associated with your trauma becomes more intrusive, the triggers become more intense over time.