When we are not use to setting boundaries with others then it can cause an internal struggle for us. Often lead by guilt, fear and even shame at times. It will all depend on how you were raised or who you encountered in your life. If you do struggle then know you are not alone. Saying no can be difficult for many of us. When we grow up in a dysfunctional family it can be hard to say no and set a boundary with someone else. We may feel guilty and afraid to ask for what we need and want. In dysfunctional homes it is very unlike that we learnt how to set healthy boundaries in the first place. In this article, we shall discuss say no without guilt-strategies for defining boundaries.
These are all great things. But, to be the best person you can be, to set an excellent example for your kids, you must learn ways to say NO.
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Ways To Say No: The Art Of Setting Boundaries
Saying “no” can be difficult, especially when we don’t want to disappoint or upset others. But the ability to say “no” is crucial for maintaining our mental health and well-being. In this section, I will explore the 5 best ways of saying no and common reasons people struggle.
1. Believe In Yourself And Your Reasoning For Saying No.
When you are asked to do something, take a moment, or an hour or a day, to consider why you would add this thing to your pile.
Would it satisfy you? Do you have the time? Do you have the interest? Is it the best use of your already limited time?
Considering something carefully before committing to it will allow you to say NO confidently. You have solid reasoning as to why you shouldn’t do it. If you believe in your reasoning, it will be easier to stand up and say NO.
2. Keep Your No Explanation Respectful, Short And Sweet.
When preparing to say NO, always begin respectfully delivering the message. Say that you are happy to have been asked and thank them for their confidence in you. This will soften them for the following sentence…in which you say NO.
When saying NO, you mustn’t go on and on about why you can’t do something. You have your reasons and want to stick to them, and rattling on about why you are saying NO will only allow the asker to convince you to say yes.
3. Don’t Take A No To Your No.
Many askers are professionals. They know how to make another person do what they need them to do. When you have decided not to do something, stick to it. You will feel much better about yourself if you do. This can be a learning experience for you and your kids: how to make a choice and stick to it, even in the face of push back.
4. Use Email.
I know this seems like a bit of a cop-out, but it’s the reason that email was invented…to deliver difficult news.
State your reasons for say NO clearly and decisively and offer no personal justifications or emotional commentary about this decision or anything else.
Your message will land, and the asker will not be able to argue and move on to ask someone else. And there is ALWAYS someone else to ask…
5. Reward Yourself.
Positive reinforcement is a really good thing. Of course, by saying NO, you will have the positive reinforcement that you haven’t added one more thing to your plate, but I think that it’s essential that you reward yourself when you have done something good for yourself.
So reward yourself for a job well done, saying NO. It can be little, like a beautiful piece of dark chocolate, or significant, like a massage. Whatever it is that will make your heart sing.
You have done something complicated and should credit yourself for a well-done job.
Saying NO does not come naturally to any of us, but once you learn the value of doing so, you will be well on your way to reaching the life of your dreams. Saying NO will help you not only not get overwhelmed, but it will keep your time open for more important things.
And remember, if your kids see you saying NO in a clear, positive and respectful way, they are more likely to do so themselves. This will set them up for success in the future, because they can set boundaries, something every mom wants for her child.
So really, it’s a two for one win. More time for you and a lesson learned for your kids. Well done, Mom!
In summary, in the end I will say that, saying “no” can be difficult, but it’s essential for maintaining our mental health and well-being. We can avoid becoming overwhelmed and resentful by setting boundaries and communicating our limits. There are several strategies for saying. I hope you find this article helpful.
