Dear Love author, My ex-narcissist and his new woman are making a show of it, and it’s kinda driving me batty! It’s a sentiment we hear often.
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What Happens When a Narcissist Finds a New Supply?
Narcissistic supply is the perpetual stream of praise, admiration, and attention people on the self-centeredness spectrum need to feel good about themselves.
Without it, they lash out. And it doesn’t matter what category of egomaniac; covert, malignant, communal, and grandiose narcissists all need supply to feel stable. To secure it, people with attention-fueled personalities will create likable “false selves.” It’s the narcissist’s version of weaving a sticky web to trap “food.” So, with that in mind, let’s explore how to tell if a narcissist has a new supply.
1. “Ghost” Old Supply
When a narcissist finds someone new, they may “ghost” their old supplies. Typically, they do it for one of two reasons. Since they live in the “now,” some narcissists easily forget about “old” people when something new and shiny comes along. Other times, they ghost to try and teach their target a lesson, as they believe withholding their affection is hurting the other person.
If you’re ghosted by someone with a narcissistic personality, count it as a blessing and move on.
2. “Love Bomb” New Supply
“Love bombing” is when a person or group showers someone they just met with charm and compliments. It’s a classic tool for narcissists. In romantic situations, people on the NPD scale may rope in their targets by smothering them in positivity. Sure, it’s not genuine, but it feels good in the moment.
3. Spread Rumors About Old Supply
When a narcissist leaves you for someone else, they may not leave you alone and start to spread rumors. And yes, they will make up rumors and mangle things you’ve said to make them seem leagues worse.
4. Commit Quickly to New Supply
Narcissists tend to jump into relationships quickly. It’s part of their cycle. They meet someone on Monday, and by the following Sunday, they’re already talking about moving in and are tossing around the “L-word.”
5. “Hoover” Old Supply
Some narcissists circle back to their old supply after a few weeks — or sometimes even years — and attempt to suck them back into their orbits. It’s called “hoovering,” after the vacuum brand.
6. Undermine the Self-Confidence of the New Supply
Once a narcissist gets their hooks in a new supply source, they’ll begin slowly chipping away at the target’s self-confidence. It’ll start small, with quips disguised as jokes. At that point, the new person will either fall under the narcissist’s toxic spell or they’ll recognize what’s going on and get out.
One of the best ways to determine if a narcissist has a new “source” is their dressing and grooming habits. While they are typically fastidious, narcissists will pump up the volume on their aesthetics even more, apropos of nothing else, when they’ve found someone new. It’s all a part of the charm offensive they’re launching on the fresh supply person.
