It’s relatively unpopular to express sympathy for men. Most of the cries about the masculinity crises come from the far right – men who tan their taints and think manhood = beard + firearm + extreme aggression.
I think this is silly. Manhood – like womanhood – comes in many flavors. Although there are many men who fail to get masculinity correct – guys with no jobs, no integrity, and no self-awareness – that doesn’t mean we should give up on them or turn a blind eye to their suffering. Writes Reeves:
“If men were Lone Rangers at heart, feminism should have freed them. As women became independent, men could simply head to the hills and be their true selves, unburdened by paycheques and parent-teacher nights. But, in fact, the Lone Ranger is just lonely. Today 15 percent of young men say they have no close friends, up from just 3 percent in 1990. Single men have worse health, lower employment rates, and weaker social networks than married men. Drug-related deaths among never-married men more than doubled in a single decade, from 2010 to 2020. Divorce, now twice as likely to be initiated by wives as husbands, is psychologically harder on men than women.”
I know how that may land:
“Cry me a river, men of the patriarchy! If you had more emotional intelligence and were raised in a culture that valued traits like sensitivity, nurturing, and friendship, women wouldn’t be leaving you in droves.”
If I could wave a magic wand over men to fix them, I’d do it.