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The three magic words for both personal and relationship growth
Hey guys, today I would be talking about the three magic words you need to imbibe in your life today that can bring about a turn around as well as open doors for you.
I call it the three magic words but does it always perform magic? Well I guess not
But you would agree with me that a 3 out of every 5 is indeed a PassMark, Which means that there are times where words will not always work because you might have to go the extra mile with actions. You know what they say:
Actions speaks louder than words
But still, these 3 words are words that every man who climbed the ladder of success have used and infact gotten fond of because if you must go far in life, you must put away your pride and imbibe these 3 magic words.
As trivial as it might sound. The importance of each one of these words cannot be overemphasized.
P – PLEASE
We were all taught when we were little to say “please”, but why is it such an important word to add to every request and conversation?
The word please is the first magic word that is often used when one wants to request another. Of course, some people make requests without using the word, please.
Irrespective of who you’re talking to. It doesn’t change the fact that it is rude.
Common courtesy demands a please when you need something
Respectfully requesting something from another with the use of “please” empowers that person to respond to your request on time, compared to someone else who requests without such courtesy. Hence you get things faster with just that one word “please”
Including please with your request is not only a social norm but, if communicated with a genuine sense of appreciation, it’s a powerful way to establish rapport, build relationships, and develop your character.
Why we need to say the word “please”
As we all know, No man is an island. Every great leader will tell you that you can’t rise to the top without the help of others.
At every point in our life, we would probably need the help of another and as such need to imbibe the act of saying ‘please’.
When we say please, people are more willing to fulfil our request or provide the help we need.
As the adage goes, “You have to give respect to get respect”. When you are polite and say please, people are more likely to respect you in return. And, without a doubt, your consistent use of please is a little thing that will most definitely help you stand out in a crowd of busy people who are mindful only of their time schedules and to-do lists.
Saying please clearly shows that you do not consider yourself superior to the other person, making that person feel more comfortable.
How to use the word “please” properly
Mind you, “please” bears nothing when it’s rudely said. Meaning that how you say it is as important as what’s being said
Take for example
Someone says:
“please stop making noise! I can’t focus!
And another says:
“Will you please do me a favour? I’m having a really tough time concentrating right now. A few minutes of quiet would be a great help“
Both requests had the word please in them but if you were on the receiving end of both requests, which would you respectfully respond and comply to with great delight? Is it the former or the latter?
I believe you get my point.
So, imbibe the attitude. Never allow yourself to ask someone to do something for you without saying please. And even as you become more intentional about saying please, be conscious of how you also say it.
S – SORRY
Yes, you guessed right. Sorry is the second important magic word that is highly necessary for our lives and relationships as a whole. Not just sorry but a sincere apology.
“I’m sorry” is a simple phrase yet so hard to pronounce sometimes. Obviously if the 3 magic words, this happens to be the most difficult to use because of so many reasons.
Why saying sorry is hard?
One of the major reasons that makes it so difficult for people to use this magic word is nothing other than egocentrism.
Admitting we are wrong and apologizing can pose as a threat to our ego and pride. You should learn how to be objective and admit your mistakes.
Some others see apologizing as a sign of weakness, but actually, it is a hallmark of strength.
Others could see it as a confirmation of guilt. They mistakenly believe that if they apologize, then the other person wouldn’t realize his or her wrong behaviour. This is false. Apologizing opens the lines of communication and stimulates empathy and understanding on both sides.
Some people feel they can skip the apology and just move on. But if you move forward without first analyzing and understanding your actions and the hurt they caused, then you are likely to repeat your mistakes in the future and most importantly it would keep hurting the other person especially in a relationship. You might have moved past it but have they?
Sometimes a simple and sincere “I am sorry if what I said yesterday hurts you. I didn’t mean to sound like that” etc might just be what your partner seeks
If you usually don’t see the need and always feel “do they want to eat the sorry'”, well, that mentality would most likely cost you a great relationship.
Saying “sorry” denotes that you have chosen your relationship over your ego.
Having known why people find it difficult to apologise, let us see the real importance of the word “sorry”.
Why do we need to say sorry?
Even though an apology cannot change an act still, A sincere apology can make someone who is hurt feel a lot better.
The offended party, who receives the apology, develops empathy towards the offender, which then transforms their feeling of hurt into forgiveness.
It can also restore understanding in a relationship. When you apologise, the other party would be more willing to understand things from your perspective
The word sorry is not only said when you’ve hurt someone, but it can also be used as an introduction when you know you are about to say something you do not think they will want to hear or when you are about to disagree or deliver bad news.
And just like what I spoke about concerning “please”. It is even more important when it comes to “sorry” and what is that?
-Always Mean it!
You have to understand that deep regret goes further than just saying you are sorry. How you say it is more important than the word itself. You shouldn’t be saying the word “sorry” while your body language is saying the words “I don’t care”
If you value the relationship, then an honest apology can make the relationship go a long way. So master the art of apologizing because it will help you reduce relationship stress, show the person you are concerned and enable you to move on from conflicts and tensions.
T – THANKS
And lastly, we have the third magic word which is a word of gratitude. I mean what do you say after you have said please and your request has been granted or after you have said sorry and your apology has been accepted?
The next reasonable word is obviously “Thank you” which means I am grateful and I appreciate it. You definitely can’t move ahead in life if you are not grateful for anything.
“Thank You” is a simple sign of respect. If we do not express gratitude, our relationship might change because we show we don’t care or appreciate the other person’s effort.
In a world where many of us have gotten so glued to the feeling of entitlement, we often fail to be grateful.
There is no doubt that certain people do have roles to play in our lives. We could probably be thinking “what are they there for?”
“My Dad and mum brought me Into this world so they should be responsible and cater for my every need”
At some point or the other, we all think like this especially when we don’t get something we want and of course, I wouldn’t say we are wrong anyways
No doubts that they are responsible for you. And friends are also meant to play their roles as friends if indeed they are friends.
But do you stop for a second to even think about people who have no one to turn to at all and children who have been abandoned?
Your parents do have a choice if you think they don’t. Is it the right choice? No! But is it a choice regardless? Yes
This abundant sense of entitlement often makes us forget to be grateful for the little efforts people make
Yes. You sometimes have a right to be entitled but should you place your focus on entitlement? No.
Instead, learn to be more grateful. As this would make you move faster in life and make people more willing to help you.
As with all creatures, humans are programmed to seek freedom; the freedom of choice most powerful of all.
No one would want to continually help an ungrateful person who always feels “aren’t they supposed to?”
But people would easily help someone who is always grateful and understands that everyone does have a choice and they show appreciation for the fact that you came through for them.
We should always learn to appreciate the act of a good deed and the time it took to perform that deed. It is important to recognize the time it took, especially because we are a time deprived society.
Even though a ‘thank you’ shouldn’t be the reason or motivation for anyone to help another but as we know some People do certain deeds because they are looking for recognition, respect and affection.
If they are not thanked, they worry their deed was meaningless. By demeaning the deed, you demean the person.
Thanking a person never makes you inferior. Indeed, it’s a gesture of RESPECT. It gives the other person inner happiness (though for a very short period)and makes them feel better about themselves. Also, makes your bond with that person even stronger.
It is good to show gratitude. They will continue their good to you if you do. So, imbibe the courtesy of always showing gratitude and appreciation by using the word “thank you” with all sincerity and watch more doors open for you.
Conclusion
The next time you have an opportunity to say PLEASE, SORRY AND THANK YOU, bear in mind the importance of these phrases. These simple words are more than pleasantries; they’ll influence the way you address other areas of your life. When you do these little things well, you’ll fall into the pattern of taking pride in the other things you do.
It costs nothing to say please sorry and thank you. But forgetting these magic words can cost you everything
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