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Love Bombing Then Ghosting: 5 Reasons Someone Treats You This Way
Love bombing then pulling away statistics are as unreliable as the bombers themselves. A Plenty Of Fish study found that 80% of millennials have been ghosted more than once.
Inconclusive data suggests anywhere from 23% to 70% of people have been love bombed, but the research isn’t even legitimate enough to link to here. While we don’t know how many people practice love bombing and pulling away, we have plenty of reasons why they do it.
1. They Are a Narcissist or Narcissistic Tendencies
Love bombing then pulling away actually has medical terminology when used by people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or have narcissistic personality traits.
Idealize (love bombing), devalue, and discard (ghosting) are the three phrases a mental health professional would explain to you.
Narcissists, even ones in long-term relationships, follow this pattern religiously. They chase their own ego without any concern for you or your feelings.
2. They Found Someone Else
Put this in the “Narcissistic Behavior” category too. Generally, when a narcissist is ghosting you, they are love bombing someone else in a relentless need to feed their super-ego.
Remember how much time you spent with the person love bombing you? Now they’re spending that time with someone else when you had the “audacity” to try to draw boundaries or stand up for yourself.
3. They Have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
This situation is one case where love bombing might not be as mercurial as it appears. People who struggle with ADHD don’t know how to approach a new task or relationship without going 100% laser-focused on the subject.
The love bombing is intense, potentially to the point of seeming creepy, and then the reward stimulus of the new relationship fades. The ADHD’er needs to find a fresh source of excitement.
They might ghost and re-appear often, creating a cycle of dependency as the person who isn’t struggling with ADHD just wants to “make it right.”
4. They Need to Put On the Brakes
It’s easy to get swept away in new love. When two people willingly fall into the endorphin rush, something will have to give, as it’s not a sustainable way for a relationship to thrive.
A “ghoster” might need to take a few steps back to see the relationship for what it is and be too scared to confront the other person about their thoughts.
These people genuinely believe saying nothing is better than saying something they’ll regret. They’ll come around when they find their words, but it’s up to you to determine if you’ll listen.
5. They Hear the Clock Ticking
These people are watching their friends get married and have babies while they’re still on Tinder, swiping their thumb into numbness. They meet someone (you) who seems to check off all the right boxes. They have to make this happen – fast.
When you’re being treated as a means to an end, the other lover can easily walk away without a word or trying to “fix it.”
There’s no time to fix it; in their minds, there is only time to check off all the boxes with someone new.