THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN LOVE BOMBED AND GHOSTED
You are still stuck on repeated saying, “He said he loved me then ghosted. He said he loved me then ghosted.”
All the Adele songs in the world won’t make you feel better because, in reality, you’ve been trauma bonded. You’ve been manipulated. You’ve lost a clear sense of who you are and what you want.
Here’s the new phrase to say on repeat, “It is not my fault.” It is no more your fault that you’re a victim of love bombing then pulling away than it would be if someone had robbed you at gunpoint. Ways to get your mind off a ghost bomber include:
- Therapy: There is nothing wrong with seeking professional treatment to work through the pain instead of choosing other coping mechanisms, like alcohol or overeating, which could be dangerous.
- Hobbies: Go back to the hobbies you couldn’t do during the love bombing stage. Find happiness in the unique skills you have.
- Write it Down: Not having closure can feel like the ghost will always haunt you. Write down what you would say to that person and put that paper away somewhere, or better yet, burn it.
- Find Inclusion: You feel alone and embarrassed, so join a team or a group where you can feel included and valued again by good people who want you to succeed.
The hardest part of a victim of love bombing then ghosting is resisting the urge to let the ghost bomber back in your life. The likelihood of this person trying to return is high if they have narcissistic tendencies.
They will repeat this as many times as you let them. Your best tool at this point is to show no emotion to them. You never respond to any communication, no matter how much time has passed and how “sorry” they are.