Be warned—detaching from a narcissistic relationship isn’t easy, even when you see it for what it truly is.
Your beautiful self is still holding onto the fake form of love that didn’t exist and craving the relationship for what you thought it was.
Table of Contents
1. Be a Gray Rock
This is an often-used term to explain how to shake off a narcissist. Once you’ve separated, you have no contact with them or as little as possible if you share spaces like children or jobs. You resist the urge to show them what they’re missing and be as bland, indifferent, and distant as possible.
2. Be Surrounded by Your Tribe
It’s those dark moments alone where you start to question yourself. Build a support system of family and friends to help you when the temptation to text takes over, or you feel hopeless.
Schedule happy hours or yoga classes during the times of day you know you are most vulnerable.
4. Be Forgiving
Yeah, you need to forgive him. You just shouldn’t forget. More importantly, you need to forgive yourself. Some people spend years ruminating about how they got manipulated.
The more distance you have, the less you remember the good times and the more you recognize the deception. Forgive yourself, educate yourself, and rebuild yourself.
5. Be Open to Therapy
Victims of narcissistic abuse likely had issues that needed therapy before the relationship started, like being a people please or having low self-esteem. You don’t go to therapy to talk about that villain.
You go there to heal yourself and find how what patterns made you this way and how to break the generational cycle.
6. Be Prepared for War
Loving a narcissist pales in comparison in some ways to leaving a narcissist. Since you were a reliable form of supply they could pick up and drop off anytime they wanted, they won’t be happy.
They don’t want you back. They want your emotions back, and they have no limits.
- Get a security camera.
- Change your phone number.
- Sign off of social media for a few months.
- Don’t go to your regular handouts.
Remember, this person knows all the ways to push your buttons and how you react in every circumstance. Don’t give them the chance.
Final Thoughts
The triggers of an abusive narcissistic relationship are real and rotten. You are not broken. You are not unwanted. You survived an emotional nuclear war and walked away. Treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend if they went through the same thing. Give compassion, support, and a lot of grace.
