What does help! Is knowing your partner well enough before getting married so that you can understand and work on your compatibility. There are many Christian questions to ask before marriage that can help you not only to know your partner but also acknowledge who you are as an individual.
Search for the good
You can feel envious if you notice that your child and your ex’s new spouse are getting along well. That is your child, not theirs, after all!
It could feel as though they are stealing your child now that they have another person in their life who serves as a parent figure. However, do they really? No, they are not attempting to replace you. You are their parent now and forever.
Try to search for the good things in life rather than dwelling on your sentiments of jealousy.
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Expect some step-parent toe stepping
There will be times that you may feel like a stepparent is encroaching on your territory and making you experience step-parent jeal.
They are doing it for you! Even then, you may expect to feel some jealousy.
If you expect that there will be times where you feel jealousy, hopefully when the time comes you won’t feel it so severely. Think of the possible scenarios:
they post pictures of your kids on social media gloating about how great they are; they call them their “kids”; your kids call them “mom” or “dad,” etc.
Expect this kind of thing to happen, and just know it’s ok to feel like your toes are being stepped on, step-parent jealousy is a normal emotion to feel in this situation.
It’s important to note that it’s one thing to feel a little jealousy, and another to act on it. Decide now that no matter your reaction on the inside, you’ll try your best to not let it affect your relationship with your kids.
These are positive things for your child, and it’s best to put your step-parent jealousy aside in the interest of your kids.
When you’re jealous of your spouse’s kids
If you are the second spouse, and your spouse already has children, then be prepared for feeling a little jealousy toward their parent-child relationship.
When you first get married, you may be EXPECTING more attention from your spouse; so when their child needs them a lot, you may feel let down and feelings of step-parent jealousy may creep in.
In fact, you may feel a little cheated out of more of that “newlywed” phase so many couples who start marriage without kids seem to have. Remember that when you married someone who already had kids, you knew what you were getting into.
Face the reality here; our spouse has to be there for their kids. They need their parents. While you know this, facing what that means may not be what you expect.
If you are wondering how to survive a marriage with stepchildren, be sure to discuss your feelings with your spouse so you don’t feel like you are alone in this.
Talk about what you need to put aside, and what you need from your spouse, in order to help make your home a happy one. Don’t let step-parent jealousy get the best of you.
To get over and done with stepchildren’s problems, jealousy is the emotion that you have to get rid of. The best thing you can do now is to develop a relationship with your new stepchildren.
To combat all your second marriage problems, stepchildren are the key; befriend them and half your problems may be solved.
Focus on what you can control
From time to time, you may shake your head at the decisions your step-children or your children’s stepparent make. Try not to let what they do bother you—you can’t control what they do, anyway.
Instead, focus on what you can control, and don’t let step-parent jealousy be a factor in your judgment. Be kind and helpful, set boundaries, and do your best to be there when needed.
Try to let go of what you can’t control, and do everything you can with what you can.
Give everyone time—including yourself
When your family first blends, don’t expect things to be wonderful overnight. There may be some definite highs and lows before things start to even out into normalcy.
If you are experiencing step-parent jealousy, try to work past it and realize that it will pass. Just give everyone some time to get used to this new arrangement.
Give yourself time to adjust. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel jealous at times, just learn from it. You can read some step-parent quotesto feel better and motivated to make this family arrangement work.
