Connecting with someone new can be tricky.
When talking to an attractive girl, it’s easy to run out of things to say and end up with awkward silences.
There are a few key reasons keeping the conversation flowing smoothly can be challenging:
- You don’t know her well yet. When you first meet, you lack shared experiences to draw from or inside jokes to bounce off of. You’re starting from scratch.
- You’re nervous. It’s natural to feel some anxiety, but this can trip up your conversational skills. Overthinking leads to lulls.
- You fear rejection. Worrying she’ll lose interest if you don’t impress her places undue pressure on the interaction.
- You have different interests. If you’re into sports and she loves anime, finding common ground may require effort.
- The setting isn’t ideal. A loud bar or distracting environment makes connecting harder.
- You run out of questions. Asking too many interview-style questions leaves you grasping for more.
With the right mindset and techniques, you can overcome these hurdles for smooth, endless conversation.
Table of Contents
- 1 How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl: 27 Tips and Tricks
- 1.1 1. Ask Open-Ended Questions
- 1.2 2. Go Beyond Small Talk
- 1.3 3. Find Shared Interests
- 1.4 4. Listen Actively
- 1.5 5. Watch Her Cues
- 1.6 6. Don’t Interview Her
- 1.7 7. Find the Humor
- 1.8 8. Compliment Sincerely
- 1.9 9. Be Present
- 1.10 10. Steer Toward Positivity
- 1.11 11. Don’t Make Assumptions
- 1.12 12. Have Confident Body Language
- 1.13 13. Reveal A Little About Yourself
- 1.14 14. Speak With Animation
- 1.15 15. Find Ways To Relate
- 1.16 16. Ask Follow-Up Questions
- 1.17 17. Go With The Flow
- 1.18 18. Read Her Nonverbals
- 1.19 19. Don’t Look At Your Phone
- 1.20 20. End On A High Note
- 1.21 21. Don’t Monopolize the Conversation
- 1.22 22. Mind Your Manners
- 1.23 23. Bring Up Shared Connections
- 1.24 24. Crack Jokes When Appropriate
- 1.25 25. Have Plenty of Topics in Mind
- 1.26 26. Turn Off Distractions
- 1.27 27. End at the Right Time
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl: 27 Tips and Tricks
When the conversation reaches a lull, it can feel awkward, and you may struggle to reconnect.
But with the right strategies, you can breeze past those bumps and keep interaction flowing smoothly.
Here are 27 expert techniques for nonstop, effortless chatter guaranteed to keep her interested.
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions that require more than a simple one-word response are key for keeping the dialogue flowing. They encourage the other person to provide details, elaborate, and share their perspectives. Ask about her experiences, opinions, interests, goals, and more. Then follow up with additional questions to get her to open up and keep the back-and-forth going.
2. Go Beyond Small Talk
You want to move the conversation beyond surface-level small talk about mundane topics like the weather or traffic quickly. Instead, ask more meaningful questions that reveal something about her character, beliefs, and passions. Share personal stories, thoughts, feelings, and anecdotes from your life. This makes a deeper talk and builds rapport between you.
Look for common interests, hobbies, entertainment preferences, cultural influences, or other things you may have in common. Bond over these by asking enthusiastic questions and making connections between your shared interests. Having things in common gives you fuel for an ongoing chat and helps you relate. Explore these intersections in depth.
4. Listen Actively
Conversation is a two-way street, so your listening skills are just as important as what you say. Demonstrate you are actively listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding along, and making verbal affirmations like “Ah” and “Yeah.” Ask relevant follow-up questions that show you are absorbing what she says. Reflect back key points to prove your understanding. This makes her feel truly heard.
5. Watch Her Cues
Pay close attention to her facial expressions, body language, tone, and energy level. This will clue you into which topics she finds most interesting. If her eyes light up when you ask about travel, stick to that subject. If she seems bored discussing work, switch gears. Adjust the conversation course based on the cues that reveal her engagement level. Master reading her signals.
6. Don’t Interview Her
Avoid treating the interaction like a rapid-fire interview, shooting one question after another. This feels more like an interrogation than a natural chat. Instead, offer your own thoughts, stories, and responses in between questions to balance the exchange. Make sure to share information about yourself rather than just probing her for facts and details.
7. Find the Humor
Look for opportunities to interject some lighthearted humor when appropriate. Funny anecdotes, playful teasing, witty observations, or inside jokes you develop can all keep things fun and lively. Laughter and amusement strengthen connections between people. Try to find moments where you can both laugh together.
8. Compliment Sincerely
An occasional sincere compliment demonstrates appreciation for her uniqueness. But keep it appropriate for the situation and don’t overdo it. Thoughtful compliments make people feel seen, appreciated, and more confident. Just be sure to keep compliments focused on non-physical traits.
9. Be Present
Stay engaged in the moment instead of mentally checking out or getting distracted. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk— truly focus on what she is saying. Maintain eye contact and lean in with your body language. Your full presence makes the dialogue more meaningful for you both.
10. Steer Toward Positivity
Guide the interaction in a positive direction if things start to get negative, tense, or too serious. Lighthearted, upbeat subjects tend to keep conversational momentum going. If she is complaining or you’ve hit a serious topic, gently steer things back toward positive territory. Do this by asking an upbeat question or sharing something funny. People relate best when joy is present.
11. Don’t Make Assumptions
Avoid making assumptions about her interests, beliefs, background, or personality based on superficial factors. Instead, get to know her for who she truly is by asking questions and listening. Keep an open mind and remain ready to be surprised as you learn new things about who she is. Preconceived notions close us off.
12. Have Confident Body Language
Use confident, open body language. Face her, make comfortable eye contact, and lean in slightly to show engagement. Keep your shoulders back and your head up. Relaxed posture and welcoming gestures encourage exchange by making her feel at ease.
13. Reveal A Little About Yourself
Open up strategically and be a bit vulnerable at times to reveal a little about yourself. Sharing your own stories, passions, and experiences helps build trust and rapport. But don’t overshare too much too soon. Look for the right moments to open up just a bit. Mutual sharing strengthens bonds.
14. Speak With Animation
Infuse your voice with energy and enthusiasm. Passionate, lively delivery keeps chat intriguing. But vary your tone so you don’t seem over-the-top. Use strategic pauses to build suspense. Gesture with your hands periodically for emphasis. Animation boosts engagement.
15. Find Ways To Relate
Draw parallels between your lives, interests, or beliefs whenever you can organically do so. Finding common ground is key to building rapport and understanding. But don’t force connections that aren’t natural. Keep relating back to topics she seems most invested in based on her cues. Shared experiences and mutual interests act like glue between two people.
16. Ask Follow-Up Questions
Keep digging deeper by asking strategic follow-up questions. If she mentions a hobby, ask how she first got into it or her favorite part about it. If she cites a favorite movie, ask what specific scenes or elements she loved and why. Details and elaboration keep the dialogue rolling smoothly. They also show your genuine interest in who she is.
17. Go With The Flow
Don’t rigidly steer the conversation or over-plan it. Allow natural topics to emerge and go with the flow. Following interesting tangents can often lead to laughter, bonding, and unexpected insights. Be flexible and open to unscripted detours. Surprise yourself with where the moment takes you together.
18. Read Her Nonverbals
Note nonverbal cues beyond her words, like smiles, nods, laughter, fidgeting hands, or gaze aversion. These subtle signals reveal how she feels about the interaction, so you can adjust your approach accordingly. Observe her body language closely to discern her real feelings and reactions.
19. Don’t Look At Your Phone
Stay completely off your phone to demonstrate you’re fully engaged in the discussion. Even glancing at texts or notifications signals boredom, distraction, disinterest, or priority on superficial things. Maintain comfortable eye contact and lean in with interest to build a connection.
20. End On A High Note
Before parting ways, close the interaction in an upbeat, forward-moving way. Express you really enjoyed the chat or make a reference to making future plans together. This keeps the momentum going to pave the way for connecting again soon. Leave her feeling positive about your interaction.
21. Don’t Monopolize the Conversation
Be sure to balance talking and listening. Don’t dominate the conversation by rambling at length or oversharing too much about yourself. Give her plenty of openings to share her own perspectives, stories, and experiences comfortably at her own pace. Discussion flows best when it’s a two-way street.
22. Mind Your Manners
Use polite manners to show her respect. Avoid interrupting her, using crude or offensive language, bringing up controversial topics, or saying anything that might make her genuinely uncomfortable. Display your emotional intelligence through manners.
If you discover you have common friends, family backgrounds, hometowns, alma maters, cultural influences, or other overlapping life experiences, discuss them. Identifying multiple points of connection helps establish rapport quickly and provides fuel for ongoing dialogue.
24. Crack Jokes When Appropriate
Look for moments when it feels natural to interject some lighthearted humor into the exchange. Funny anecdotes from your life, playful teasing, witty observations, or inside jokes you develop together can all keep things fun and lively. But be discerning – know the difference between humor that builds rapport and inappropriate jokes that could alienate.
25. Have Plenty of Topics in Mind
Come armed with a diverse repertoire of conversational topics, anecdotes, and questions you can seamlessly segue between to avoid lulls. If you hit a dead end on one subject, have a smooth transition ready to the next topic. A variety of content prevents straining to find material.
26. Turn Off Distractions
Try to minimize external distractions like loud music or disruptive environments so you can be fully mentally present. Avoid checking your phone. Give her your complete undivided attention to show your interest and investment in the interaction.
27. End at the Right Time
Seek to close the interaction on a high point and upbeat tone before it drags on too long. This leaves her feeling good about the meetup and wanting more. Remember that timing is everything – don’t overextend. Know when to gracefully make your exit and let the connection marinate.