Table of Contents
- 1 Narcissist? oh no!
- 2 1. You’re Walking on Thin Ice
- 3 2. You’re Always Sick to Your Stomach
- 4 3. You’re Isolated from Loved Ones
- 5 4. You’re Unable to Set Boundaries
- 6 5. You’re Depressed and Desolate
- 7 6. You’ve Shut Down
- 8 7. You’re Overanalyzing Everything
- 9 8. You’re Mad at Yourself
- 10 9. You’re Doing Things out of Character
Narcissist? oh no!
1. You’re Walking on Thin Ice
Since there isn’t much rhyme or reason to why a narcissist, as they live in their own ideal definition of life, you never know what will trigger them. Everything you do is to avoid the narcissist getting upset with you.
At first, the thin ice is to keep a grip on the perfect couple you were during the love bombing stage, but it morphs into just not wanting to be insulted or abused.
2. You’re Always Sick to Your Stomach
Something always feels off, whether it’s ongoing nausea or a pit in your stomach. The relentless emotional cargo is far too much for one person to carry.
This is anxiety causing a literal gut reaction since you never know where you stand with this person who presented themselves as the perfect mate.
The narcissist can even use your upset stomach to suggest it’s your way of not looking good, and he’ll mock you for always being sick.
3. You’re Isolated from Loved Ones
A narcissist wants his supply (you) to be close and concentrated on them. They will slowly isolate you from friends and family, using lies or manipulation to convince you they aren’t good for you.
They try to persuade you that the only happiness you’ll find now is with them as you serve them.
A narcissist will also isolate you by telling your friends lies and half-truths through triangulation, making them the controller of information between you and your friends or family.
4. You’re Unable to Set Boundaries
Narcissists can smell a person with weak boundaries a mile away and attract them to use that flaw. Your caring, compassionate nature makes you want to please your “soulmate,” but it also prevents you from establishing boundaries where you know they should be.
In addition, you’ll notice you have to abide by a lot of boundaries. The narcissist is above and beyond reproach or accountability.
5. You’re Depressed and Desolate
The one-two punch of meeting Prince Charming and then realizing he’s the monster under the bed can send victims into an emotional spiral. Can living with a narcissist make you mentally ill?
Yes. Then you begin to rely on the narcissist to love bomb you so you can feel better. It’s literally the same addiction cycle as someone on drugs or using alcohol to self-soothe.
You can’t talk about this with the one person who should be supporting you, and that pushes you deeper into a dark hole. If you do share your feelings, they know gaslighting will work wonderfully on you since “even you admit you have mental issues.”
6. You’ve Shut Down
An often-used surviving mechanism is to shut down or disassociate. Those who are stuck in a narcissistic relationship are well-prepared for the particular brand of narcissistic rage that is inevitably coming.
When the Kraken is released, victims will just shut down like they’re bracing for a blow of dynamite. Victims lose the ability to fight back or defend themselves, opting just to wait for the rampage to end.
7. You’re Overanalyzing Everything
During the few minutes of space the narcissist gives you, or during a discard period, you lose precious time trying to figure out how to fix this, escape it, or make it stop. Your mind is trapped in a cycle of obsessing about the great person you met and the creep that now sleeps in your bed.
You’re creating plots and plans for your next tactic like an outnumbered Army general. But the narcissist is always victorious, so your rumination begins again.
8. You’re Mad at Yourself
Instead of placing all that good blame and anger on the right person, you’re too focused on blaming yourself for not being good enough. This reaction is especially notable if you were a strong, confident person before. It’s also one of the most hurtful parts because you believed you were smart enough to know better. I promise you, nobody can prepare you for a narcissistic onslaught.
9. You’re Doing Things out of Character
Once you realize you can only have a good day if the narcissist is happy, and his bar for happiness is always being elevated, you’ll start to take extreme actions to keep them happy.
You begin to praise basic things, like showing up (albeit 30 minutes late), and you learn never to try to outshine your partner.
You might also notice you’re overlooking newly waving red flags, like suspicions of cheating, because you just don’t want to have the battle.