Table of Contents
- 1 What Does It Mean to Confuse a Narcissist?
- 2 Is It Good To Confuse a Narcissist?
- 3 15 Ways to Confuse a Narcissist
- 3.1 1. Refuse to Engage in Arguments or Debates
- 3.2 2. Remain Calm and Composed, Even When They Try to Provoke You
- 3.3 3. Change the Subject Abruptly
- 3.4 4. Mirror Their Behavior
- 3.5 5. Never Take Their Criticism Personally
- 3.6 6. Use Sarcasm and Irony to Convey the Opposite of What You Mean
- 3.7 7. Give Them a Taste of Their Own Medicine
What Does It Mean to Confuse a Narcissist?
Confusing a narcissist means doing something that causes them to become frustrated or disoriented.
It could mean making them doubt themselves, disrupting their expectations, and showing them how little control they have over the situation.
Confusing actions can range from something as simple as changing the subject abruptly when they start bragging about their achievements to more complicated tactics like refusing to comply with their demands. Confusing them makes them feel uneasy, which takes away their sense of control and power over you or your relationship.
Is It Good To Confuse a Narcissist?
It’s so tempting to confuse a narcissist, especially if you have a thing for revenge and karma. But before jumping into the revenge bandwagon, consider the potential risks and rewards of your actions.
Here are some points to keep in mind:
Why it might be good to confuse a narcissist:
- To help you regain power and control of your relationship or the situation at hand.
- To temporarily disrupt their manipulative tactics and give yourself a brief respite.
- To reveal the narcissist’s true character and motive to those around you.
Why it’s not a good idea to disorient a narcissist:
- It could backfire on you, resulting in the narcissist further manipulating and retaliating against you.
- When a narcissist feels threatened, they often become extremely volatile. This leaves you at risk of emotional, physical, and psychological abuse.
- Flustering them only exacerbates their desire for control, leading to more intense manipulation tactics.
- Confusing a narcissist may be a short-term strategy, but it won’t solve the underlying issue of their NPD and may even make it worse in the long run.
CAUTION: While you may feel momentarily good after confusing the narcissist in your life, it’s essential to weigh the potential risks and benefits before doing so to avoid potential harm to yourself or those around you.
15 Ways to Confuse a Narcissist
Do you want to disorient and fluster your narcissist? Here are 15 expert-approved tactics that you can use to disarm them:
1. Refuse to Engage in Arguments or Debates
Narcissists flourish on getting into heated debates and arguments just to feed off your reaction.
When they do this, they often know that you will likely cave and give them the emotional reaction they’re looking for, giving them control. Instead of having an emotional reaction, remain calm and avoid arguing with the narc. When they start an argument, simply walk away or change the subject.
This will throw them off as they won’t be able to feed off your emotions or manipulate you.
2. Remain Calm and Composed, Even When They Try to Provoke You
Are you dealing with a narcissist in your life? If so, you probably know that they thrive on attention and control.
They use drama, provocation, and manipulation to evoke emotional reactions from the people in their lives. It also helps them maintain a sense of superiority over others.
But when you remain calm, composed, and collected in their presence, you deny them the emotional reaction they seek. You’ve refused to engage in their game, which leaves their tactics ineffective.
Additionally, staying composed makes you look more confident and in control of the situation, further undermining their sense of power and superiority..
3. Change the Subject Abruptly
Narrowing down ways to throw off a narcissist can be difficult, but this simple tactic might work wonders.
When they start talking about anything related to how amazing they are, switch the conversation abruptly and start talking about something else.
Say something like, “Oh, I almost forgot, what happened to our plans for tonight?” or “Hey, how about that new restaurant we wanted to try?”
Abruptly changing the subject will disrupt their current thought process, leaving them momentarily confused and disoriented.
4. Mirror Their Behavior
Mirroring someone’s behavior involves reflecting their actions and words like a mirror would. Try imitating their tone of voice, body language, and communication style.
When done correctly, mirroring can confuse a narcissist as it goes against what they’re expecting from you.
The goal here is to make them feel heard and understood while showing them how their behavior looks from a different perspective.
This will definitely challenge their sense of superiority and control, leaving them feeling uncomfortable and exposed.
However, it’s essential to use mirroring judiciously and in combination with other techniques.
5. Never Take Their Criticism Personally
“Can’t you see that you’re too fat? Why don’t you put that piece of pie down and get yourself a gym membership?” or “You will never get a job if you keep dressing like that.”
No matter how harsh or mean the criticism is, NEVER take it personally. Remember, most narcissistic people often use their sharp words as an emotional weapon to manipulate and put you down.
It’s their way of feeding their inflated egos by making themselves feel superior. Do not be a puppet in their game; consider the source and the intentions behind the criticism.
Remember, their criticism is often a projection of their insecurities. So, it may have nothing to do with how they feel about you.
6. Use Sarcasm and Irony to Convey the Opposite of What You Mean
Narcissists often use sarcasm when talking to their partner (or anyone they want to control). Most of the time, they use it in a condescending way to belittle you.
But you can flip the script by using sarcasm and irony to convey the exact opposite of how you feel.
So, when they make a snarky comment about how you’re always late, reply back with: “Yeah, I’m so reliable and punctual that it’s almost a superpower.”
Responding with sarcasm makes it clear that their words do not affect you, forcing them to think twice before making their next insensitive remark.
7. Give Them a Taste of Their Own Medicine
Instead of engaging in confrontation or pointing out their hypocrisy, practice your commanding presence and charm.
You can do this by swiftly and confidently reframing the conversation with humor, compassion, and poise.
Narcissists are notorious for trying to one-up you at every turn, so ensure that your responses are positively understated – let them think that they have won without actually giving anything away.
If done correctly, a narcissist may not even realize you were giving them a version of their own medicine.