It’s a bit strange to still be asking, do black girls like white guys? Especially in this time and age when the world is experiencing intercultural connections in every aspect.
If people can travel almost anywhere they want today; then people should feel free to fall in love with whomever, regardless of social status and position, and especially skin color. However, that’s not easily the case.
There are decades of history between the blacks and whites that are still in translation now, and this is still largely affecting interracial friendships and relationships.
Not that anyone can blame the black community. There are still prevalent cases of black people being treated unfairly and inferior by their white counterparts.
Even in cases where black girls like white guys, there are still several aspects they need to logically look at. There’s a strain in communication, advocacy problems, ancestral issues, and character judgment, to mention a few.
Hence, this article will examine why black girls are reluctant about being with white guys and how they can readily manage interracial relationships.
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Why are black girls reluctant about going out with white guys?
Black girls can be reluctant about being seen out with white guys because vulnerability issues are more pronounced.
You may not find people staring at you especially when you’re with someone with the same skin color as you. For the average onlooker, two black people walking together or two white people seen together is majorly preferable.
However, with being seen with a white guy, you can experience being judged instantly on the spot. Even from people who don’t know you and probably won’t meet you after then, you can see the question of compatibility in their eyes. It’s like asking, “with all the people in your community, you still had to go outside?”
Rather than bother to find out why you’re hung up on a person, they choose to judge and question first. The struggles from the past come up, and the blacks can’t see beyond how the whites felt that they were superior enough to not treat their counterparts with respect and decency.
It’s easy to say that “what’s on the inside of a person is what makes them.” However, imagine sitting in a room of white people and having the pressure of the entire black community on your shoulders.
At that point, it doesn’t matter how well behaved you are, how much money you have, or the degrees you have in your bag. There are biases about black people and you, one black person, have to face the responsibility of acting, talking, and laughing with caution.
This is also applicable to a white guy meeting the family of his black friend or girlfriend. There are opposing views, opposing histories, shared hurt with ancestors, and communal values usually in the way of open-mindedness.
Rather than get to know you for who you are on the inside, you get vetted and prodded to see if you’ll break and reveal “the other side they know that you have.”
Ultimately, people want to be seen and judged for how they act in the present, not based on what they haven’t done or by what their ancestors were despicable enough to do or not. When the reverse is the case, it can be a serious issue for interracial friendships or relationships.
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Black people are united by their common history – they were humiliated and treated as unequals by their white counterparts. With this history in mind, communication tends to be way easier when a black lady is involved with a black man. There are shared solidarity, ease, and affinity with each other.
There are layers and complexities to people, and the essence of relationships is to unpack those. For a black couple, these layers are familiar, mutual, and easier to understand. For an interracial couple, not so much. There’s always a carefulness with words and actions so as not to come off as offensive or racist to their partner.
Hence, it can be somewhat of an issue to speak up at the moment if anyone feels slighted, to let your partner know that their statement was unguarded, or to call someone out as a racist to their face.
With white guys obviously having it easier, it’s not out of place for the black ladies to wish to be understood, spoken to with understanding, and listened to with genuine interest and open-mindedness.
All these can result in strained conversations, communication disparities, and eventual neglect.
In addition to the family and personal struggles, there’s also the social aspect to look at. As a black girl, being with a white guy can water down how you’re seen socially and advocacy-wise.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent the bulk of your years advocating for black people’s rights. Once you’ve been seen with a white guy, or you have plans of marrying one, some in the black community will no longer attach depth or seriousness to you.
For some people in the community, you can’t talk of unity and black struggle and still associate with the white people that started the segregation and struggles in the beginning.
Considering what the black people went through and are still going through at the hands of the whites, to be with them is to cast aspersions on the credibility of your black people advocacy.
There is a fear that you can’t function fully as a black person because you’ll always be worried about balancing sides. For them, it’ll be hard to strike a balance between your black struggle and your new status in an interracial marriage or relationship.
How can black girls manage interracial relationships?
Focus on your happiness
Most times, we don’t get to choose the people we fall in love with, and when we fall in love with them, these things just happen.
If you love your white man and how he treats, protects, respects, cares, and is always all about your happiness, then don’t be worried about sticking with him.
It’s fine if some people around you aren’t as happy. It’s alright that there are people around waiting to cast negativity on your union. However, don’t let those deter you from following your heart.
In the end, what is going to matter is that you trusted and followed your heart and made a decision you thought was best for you at the time. Once you’re satisfied with this, focus on that happiness and be ready to protect and defend it.
Everyone will get their chance to live their life. So, you best make sure to live yours to the fullest, doing the things that matter to you and bringing about your happiness.
Make your union a safe space
If you’ve chosen to date a white guy, then you chose him for reasons beyond his looks. You knew you would be safe and happy with him and that he’ll continually have your best interests at heart.
However, trying situations that are race-based will come; they’re inevitable. In times like that, it’s easy to alienate your partner under the guise of “he can’t understand.” But you must remember your partner’s core values and not allow yourself to be carried away by high emotions. The common enemy is not your partner!
Rather than lock up, take out time to have honest conversations, and be prepared to listen to his side with an open mind. Be sincere and vulnerable, especially with issues bordering on race and injustice. Although you’re both from opposite sides, you’re humans first.
Practicing these can help you both create a union that is safe. You know that regardless of what is going on in the world, you have softness and honesty waiting back at home for you.
Be open to continuous learning
People have layers to them; your partner does too. Beyond your ancestral history as a black person, there’s another whole person you have to learn about for your interracial relationship to work.
There are cultural and family differences to understand so that you get to know your partner better. The onus is on you to keep learning in order to understand better.
There are tough and complicated truths that are still evolving about your partner. To be able to dig this deep, you have to keep learning about roots and contexts.
Also, learning about your white counterpart doesn’t mean you’re undermining the struggles of the past or that you can no longer relate to the present dynamics.
You can instead view it as a way to build a wholesome overview of the world and the people in it. This is in addition to learning so that you build your relationship into a stable and healthy one.
Do black girls like white guys? We have some of them that do. However, there are several factors that can make them reluctant about getting together with white men.
Ultimately, remembering that we’re first humans and practicing the management tips for interracial relationships shared above can go a long way in righting things.