Is Dating an Alpha Male a Hopeless Case In 2023?

Yes, Dr. Allen’s contention, essentially, was that if you’re an alpha male, your natural tendency is to put your needs first, to conquer, to dominate, to spread your seed, and to hope to not break too many hearts along the way. In this regard, she’s somewhat correct.

And in this regard, I realized I am not a pure alpha male.

It’s more important to me to be a good partner and father than to pursue my selfish interests at all costs. If anything, I have a fierce ethical streak (which surfaces here from time to time) that is stronger than my need for money or new women. I would not suppose that every person is similarly driven by doing the right thing. After all, having character involves trade offs, and guys with alpha male characteristics  most certainly don’t want limits put on their freedoms and power.

So, to bring this back to you, Sara, my thoughts on alpha males in relationships is that while they may remain the most attractive and successful candidates out there, as a rule, they tend to be bad long-term relationship bets.

My thoughts on alpha males in relationships is that while they may remain the most attractive candidates out there, as a rule, they tend to be bad long-term relationship bets.

I would guess that most women who’ve gone for them would concur with this observation. Alphas’ needs come first. Their schedules come first. They may try to spend money on you, but it doesn’t compensate for their lack of attention, affection, and understanding. They rarely make you feel safe and secure. But you hold on because a true alpha male is such an intoxicating catch. Make no mistake; an Alpha guy RELIES on his charms to allow you to put up with all his bullshit.

As always, when we’re talking about dating an alpha male, we’re talking about a sliding scale. I may have the drive and temperament and ego of an alpha male, but I don’t indulge it at all costs. I stop work at 6. I don’t work on weekends or take clients on Fridays. I apologize frequently. If my wife ever needs me to sacrifice for the family, the answer is yes. That’s where my value system lies.


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A prolific love author who specializes in creating love stories often focused on the romantic connections between people which readers can identify with.