The world of dating can be a tough and intimidating one, especially if you’re the kind of person who tends to overthink every. single. thing. Do you stress about being late? Keep to-do lists for days? Or agonize for hours over the last text you sent? If this sounds like you, then you might want to take a look at your romantic life to see if you’re overthinking things there too. Because the truth is that overthinking and dating are not a good mix, and dissecting every little thing about a relationship can really do some damage to your chances of being with someone amazing.
Not sure if you’re overthinking things or not? Here are the 3 ways obsessing over your love life can kill your dating game.
1. You worry too much.
Being a chronic over-thinker means you’re always coming up with ‘what if’ scenarios. This means that you’re mentally dealing with consequences for things that haven’t happened yet and may never happen at all. When it comes to dating, these types of scenarios are pretty common. (What if she hates my dog? What if he’s not ready to be exclusive?) But overthinking every step of a relationship can lead to it stalling rather than moving forward in a natural way.
2. You can’t find the joy in dating.
Overthinking consumes all of your thought processes and your mental energy, and can often mean you’re not finding any joy in the present moment. If you’re too busy thinking about what may or may not happen in the future, you’re not enjoying the now. Not being able to find joy in the current state of your relationship can have a negative impact on your partner too. Don’t forget to enjoy the moment you’re in, the rest will come later.
3. It can make you seem stupid.
People who overthink tend to rehearse situations and scenarios in their head a hundred times before they actually happen. This can be awkward or embarrassing on a date if the conversation doesn’t go in the direction that you planned and you end up lost for words with nothing to say. To avoid looking silly in these situations, you need to try to be as spontaneous as possible. Don’t limit yourself to only being confident under a certain set of circumstances. Let yourself be natural and the conversation will flow.