Relationship is a lot. I’ve often thought that meant the couple was inherently dating a cardboard cut out. She can’t really feel and she can’t really protest. I say she because a unicorn is also known as an HBB, or a hot bisexual babe, but, of course, a he can also be all of these things.
If you’re like me, and you’re looking for a triad where you feel like an equal member of the relationship, here are a few warning signs that will prevent you from turning into a unicorn.
1. The dyad are very protective of each other.
Some couples come across as very clingy and protective and it’s easy to spot from the get go. They’re holding each other possessively throughout the date. They talk to each other a lot and you notice you’re not really getting asked anything. They seem to almost put up a force field around each other.
This is a really strong warning sign. If the only plans they seem to keep making with you are sexy ones, they’re not looking for you to be an equal partner in their relationship. They’re looking for someone to have a threesome with.
3. They’re both pretty heterosexual.
You identify as a man and the boyfriend of the couple isn’t interested in men. You identify as a woman and the girlfriend isn’t into girls. Either way, something’s a little fishy. It’s hard to have a triad if one member of the group physically cannot be attracted to another member.
4. They’re closed off.
They know lots of things about you, but when it’s your turn to ask questions, they’re pretty vague. Over time, you realize you don’t really know what they do, where they’re from, or even just little things that they know about each other, like their favorite movie. If they’re not letting you in, it’s likely because they don’t plan on having you stay for long.
5. They’re new to the poly world.
Everybody has to start somewhere, but new poly couples are often not quite on the same page. It’s not their fault. They’re learning, too. But that can often mean that one partner wants a triad and another just wants a unicorn or maybe one of them is unfortunately treating saying that they’re poly as an excuse to have a lot of threesomes. They’re learning, but they might leave a string of broken hearts in their wake.
Being polyamorous is hard and it’s often hard because there really isn’t much of a strict definition. Maybe you want that beautiful, elusive triad. Or maybe you want a primary partner and then other partners that you date and play with. Or maybe you want a primary partner who you swing with. There’s a whole world of possibilities out there. You don’t have to be a mythical creature to find a couple to be with. You’ll find the right someone, when you least expect it and when you finally get to just be yourself.
