Being in a relationship is sometimes very complicated. You can be dating a lady for so long thinking you have found your soul mate.
But in reality, she never really loves or cares about you. To her, you are just the boyfriend of last resort. And once she gets a better option, she will break your heart without thinking twice.
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So, if you experienced any of these 9 signs in your ex, just know that she never really loved you.
9 Signs She Never Really Loved You
#1. Missing an Idea
Let me ask you a question – did your ex miss you after the breakup? or Did she miss the idea of you?
Most times, guys tend to misconstrue a lady’s action for love. The fact that she’s showering you care, holding your hands in public, being romantic towards you, etc. doesn’t mean she actually loves you.
Perhaps, she just loves the fact that you are smart, attractive, funny, you have a great job, you have a car, etc. So, she loves your concept because you fit into the class of her ideal man.
But she may not love your actual personality; that’s why she will constantly try to change and make you into something that you are not.
Initially, she may say “Hey, you are my dream guy”.
“I have always prayed and fantasized” about A GUY LIKE YOU”
Well, she was actually looking for A GUY LIKE YOU and not You.
So, if your ex always tried to change your personality when you guys were still together, then she was never in love with you.
You were just “Someone who fits into her requirements for a perfect guy”. She didn’t love you for who you are.
#2. Consistent Stress
Normally, people are in a relationship because they want to lower their stress level, they need someone who can help them with some of the weight of their life.
Being in a committed and peaceful relationship helps to prevent the production of a stress hormone called cortisol.
But if you and your ex had a stressful and argumentative relationship, it’s obvious that she never really loved you.
Trust me, when there’s no love in a relationship, partners would always suffocate each other. And whatever you do (both good and bad) will annoy her bitterly.
Now, if all the fights and arguments you had in your previous relationship were always from your ex…
If she always wanted more fights than necessary…
If she always asked to take a break after a little argument, she was obviously not in love with you.
#3. She Never Bonded With The Important People in Your Life
When you break up with your partner, you tend to still keep in touch with some of the most important people in their lives.
That is because you have established personal relationships with these people over time. And you now consider them as your close friends.
And if such a relationship has an issue, you are not only losing your partner but also close friends.
Even though you can still keep in touch, the fact that you aren’t close to those people again breaks your heart.
But if your ex never loved you, she may not bother bonding with people close to you. She will either not make efforts to know your friends and family or deliberately avoid them.
Again, she may be deliberately preventing you from meeting her friends and family. And if you pressurize her to introduce you to her family and friends, she keeps giving you excuses why you can’t see them.
Well, that’s because she never really loved you. If she did, she won’t hesitate to introduce you to every member of her family.
#4. Total Ambivalence
Break up or divorce in a committed and lovely relationship could lead to severe emotional trauma. Such trauma could linger on for months and sometimes, years.
You can’t avoid the grief, frustration, sometimes depression that comes with a breakup. It’s always there, except you never truly loved your partner.
But if your ex was ambivalent to your breakup and seemed to have zero feelings for you immediately after the breakup. And behaved as if you guys never had a relationship, it’s a sign that she never really loved you.
#5. Not Interested in Making The Relationship Work
We all know that every relationship has its issues. There’s no perfect relationship out there, not even the one Romeo and Juliet had.
But what makes the difference is both partners’ willingness to make things work. There are instances when people have a painful breakup, take some time apart to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, and find a way to make it work again.
And when these partners come together again, the relationship will be stronger, happier, and less drama-free.
However, if your ex didn’t make effort to fix your relationship after the breakup, it’s a glaring sign that her love for you has either faded or she was never in love with you. Whichever be the case, nobody gives up on the people they love that easily.
#6. Rapid Feelings
There’s a clear difference between a strong feeling of infatuation and genuine love. But most times, you are often carried away by the rapid feelings and excitement of a new relationship.
And because of the excitement, you may start imagining a connection between you and your partner. But in reality, that connection does not exist.
Such a relationship can not stand the test of time. That’s because, when the passion dies in the relationship, your partner will find you boring and start getting angry with you unnecessarily.
So, if your relationship ended as quickly as it started, well, it’s obvious that you guys were never in love. Rather, you shared a strong feeling of infatuation.
#7. She Feels Happy and Relief After the Breakup
If your ex felt happy and relieved after the breakup…
She felt as if she has just been unshackled from the chains of bondage, well, it’s a sign that she was stressed in the relationship.
But why would she be stressed in a relationship you thought was perfect?
Perhaps, it’s because she never really loved you. She was just trying to cope with you, but when she got the slightest opportunity, she left you without a second thought.
#8. Forgetting Your Birthday
Trust me, break up is never an excuse for someone who loves you to forget your birthday.
Even if you guys had a terrible breakup, your ex will always use your birthday and other holidays as a perfect excuse to say “Hello” and check on you.
But if she never really loved you, you won’t bother about your birthday. That’s because what you guys had didn’t mean anything to her.
#9. Moving On
It takes a while to move on after a strenuous breakup, especially if you genuinely love your partner.
However, if your ex is already dating someone else within a few weeks of your breakup, it’s a sign that she never really loved you.
Starting a committed relationship requires emotional investment. And someone who recently had a painful breakup can’t possibly make such investment except they never really loved their partners.
However, if your ex moved on with someone else immediately after your breakup, it’s obvious that she never really loved or cared about you.