8 THINGS YOU MUST DO IF YOUR BOYFRIEND HATES YOU
Discovering the man you love now despises you is absolutely crushing. But all is not necessarily lost. Depending on the circumstances, there may still be a chance to turn things around and revive the relationship. Here are some potential steps to take:
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Ask Him Directly
The first course of action should be to talk with him. Tell him that you’ve noticed his behavior has changed, and it seems like he doesn’t like or love you anymore. Even though his answer may hurt, ask him if your feelings are accurate. If he has fallen out of love, find out if he thinks the relationship can be saved and improved if you work together on any issues that arise in your discussion. If he’s found someone else, it is time for you to accept the inevitable and move on.
Examine Your Role
Carefully reflect on your own behaviors and attitude to see if you have damaged the relationship in reversible ways. Adjusting issues like becoming too needy, disrespecting him, or losing your self-care could potentially help rekindle positive feelings between you. Talk to your boyfriend about his frustrations with you so you can work together on solutions.
Request a Pause
Suggest taking a temporary relationship break for a set period of time, like a month or two. This pause would provide space for both of you to gain perspective, recover some fondness, and reset. Decide the “rules” for this separation, which should include whether or not you can date other people.
Ask him to join you in couples counseling to get to the bottom of any resentment issues, learn tools to communicate in a healthier way, and rebuild affection. Having a neutral third-party mediator facilitates this in ways doing it alone cannot.
Demonstrate to him you genuinely understand his feelings without judgment or defensiveness. Verbalize that you want to actively work together toward a relationship of deeper mutual happiness and partnership. The more mature and calm you can be, the better chance you have of working toward repairing the relationship.
Plan Quality Time
Make an effort to regularly schedule one-on-one dates focused on activities you both enjoy. Avoid distractions during these times and be fully emotionally present. This can help create new positive associations.
Use Ultimatums as a Last Resort
If sincere efforts yield no changes after a reasonable time period, issue an ultimatum – either he commits to actively working on improvements, or you must move on for your own mental health. If he ignores the ultimatum, you must follow through.
A boyfriend saying “I hate you” should be a wake-up call. Take time for honest self-reflection and have courageous conversations to get to the root of his feelings. With understanding and a renewed commitment to kindness from both people, couples can often rekindle that loving feeling again. Don’t give up hope easily.