It doesn’t matter what most people think about love; I still believe that it’s beautiful. From meeting your partner the first time, asking her out, and winning her over, it always comes in stages. If you understand these stages of a relationship, you can manage your love life effortlessly.
Every successful relationship you see undergoes these different stages. And during these stages, you will experience infatuation, disappointment, commitment, and reality…
But one thing is for sure – two people can never have the same experience in a relationship. This is why experts are of the opinion that every relationship is unique.
Let me ask you a question; you must have had experience with many relationships. Was your experience with these partners the same? The answer is No.
Despite the fact that relationships are different, they all have the same stages. Just that lovers experience these stages differently.
In this article, we took our time to discuss the different stages of a relationship. Yours may be different from the order in which we mentioned here. But every relationship inevitably passes through these stages.
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Different Stages Of A Relationship
- The Infatuation/Romance
- The Crisis and the power struggle stage
- Stability Stage
- Commitment Stage
- Trust Stage
- Real Love Stage
The above are the stages of a relationship at a glance. Each of these stages has its challenges. If you fail to handle these challenges with wisdom, it could lead to the end of the relationship.
Every relationship passes through these stages at one time or another. It may not be in the order listed above, but you will inevitably undergo these stages.
The Infatuation and Romance Stage
The infatuation and romance stage is the first step in every relationship. I often call this stage the “mumu” period as the people in love don’t see things clearly and objectively.
Most often than none, the infatuation or romance period in a relationship is not more than two years. After this, the couples in love will start embracing reality.
In my opinion, the romance or infatuation period is like the false reality of love. Do you know why? The lovers fall in love with the belief that nothing could possibly go wrong.
They never see faults in each other’s flaws. All they do is to focus on each other’s good sides. During this time, you will hear statements like “I can never live without you” a lot. Oops! Don’t worry, reality will soon dawn on them.
Let me put it another way; during the romance period in a relationship, lovers are still victims of the lie that “relationships are perfect. All they strive to do at this stage is to create a beautiful love story without tragedy. But they fail to understand that no relationship is truly perfect.
If you have ever been in love before, you will understand that the infatuation period is euphoric and giddy.
Infatuation is the height of foolishness as you only see the light side of your partner. You never get to know his/her dark side. Sadly, if you marry someone during this stage, it could be a severe marital disaster.
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The Beauty of The Infatuation and Romance Stage
Indeed, the infatuation period is one of the most incredible stages of a relationship. It allows you to know someone and learn several great things about such a person.
Remember, you only see the beauty of this person. You don’t care about his or her excesses; all that matters is you are in love with him/her. For that reason, you accept such a person for who they are.
So, the beauty of this stage is that you see your partner in the best light. Also, you will find every little thing he or she does fascinating.
If every relationship starts and ends at the infatuation stage, a perfect relationship would have been possible. In other words, we would have been living in a society without divorce or breakups.
Three Things You Must Do During The Infatuation Stage
Lovers often behave irrationally during the infatuation stage. For this reason, I think you should take note of the following things.
Don’t Throw Caution Out of The Window
Let me warn you that you may be very emotional during this stage. In fact, when people advise you or reveal some truth to you about your lover, you tend to pick up a fight with them. Obviously, I can’t blame you for this; it’s your emotions that’s beclouding your good judgment.
Take Things Slowly
It’s never a good idea to take a relationship to the next level during this stage. You may be madly in love with this person, but try to think things right. Take your time and don’t rush things. Remember, it could be your emotions that’s thinking, not you.
Don’t try to be the best at the expense of who you truly are. Let your partner knows who you truly are and never pretend for any reason.
It would be wrong to pretend to like what you dislike to please them. Show them your real personality, and if they genuinely love you, they will accept you.
The Crisis and Power Struggle Stage
The infatuation stage doesn’t last forever. A time will come when you will start seeing reality. This reality stage is the crisis.
During the crisis period, you will start to see things. And you will start seeing your partner’s flaws you used to ignore. When you start arguing over little issues, it’s an indication of the crisis.
If you and your partner are matured, you could quickly wither the storm that comes with this stage. And once your relationship withstands this stage, it could stand the test of time.
Sadly, divorces and breakups usually happen at this stage. It’s in the great test of your relationship. And it’s in this stage you see your partner’s real character.
You will understand how they react to issues and how forgiving they are. At this stage, you will start looking beyond love. In fact, you may start asking yourself questions like, “Can I cope with this his or her attitude”?
Without a doubt, it’s one of the most complicated stages of a relationship. But it also allows you to see the darkest side of your partner. Any relationship that makes it through the trials of the crisis and power struggle stage is likely going to stand the test of time.
In a nutshell, the real test of any relationship is during the crisis and power struggle stage. It is the time when one partner withdraws from the relationship and the other one pursues.
How Long Does The Crisis and Power Struggle Stage Last?
Like I mentioned, the actual test of your relationship is in the power struggle stage. And how long it lasts depends on three things which are;
- How willing are you going to accept change
- Your childhood history (were you emotionally abused as a child or not)
- The type of advice you are getting from your friends.
And they are two ways to survive a crisis stage – it’s either you and your partner reach a compromise, or you guys break up. The latter is very common in the crisis stage.
How You Can Overcome the Crisis Stage of a relationship
- Try to use a more diplomatic approach to communicate when it comes to an emotionally sensitive topic.
- Try to fix whatever issue you guys are having before it degenerates.
- It may be difficult, but try to restore broken trust if you want things to work.
- Also, learn not to force your partner to do anything, it will only make things worse
- Try as much as possible to appreciate your differences
The Stability Stage
The stability stage is the post-crisis period of a relationship. Have you ever had this experience – “ After a serious fight with your lover, the relationship gets stronger?” Well, it’s the stability stage.
During the stability stage, you guys have understood what caused the previous fight and try to reach a compromise. So, this is a peaceful period in a relationship.
During this period, you have recognized the fact that you can never change your partner. It’s either you accept them for who they are or move on without them. And if you make it to this stage, I think you choose the former.
Also, there’s no power struggle anymore, and you have learned to give each other mutual respect. Furthermore, there’s a clear boundary which you must both respect.
During the commitment stage, things are getting rosy in the relationship. Your partner may propose to you anytime during this stage. Even though you may not be getting married during this stage, it’s an indication that there can be a future between you guys.
Again, in the commitment stage, you and your partners will embrace reality. You understand that the Disneyland love fairytale you crave for in a relationship doesn’t exist.
Because you now see the reality of love, the relationship will be enjoyable at this stage. You tend to become both your partner’s best friend and lover.
The Trust Stage
The trust stage is one of the most beautiful stages of a relationship. But it is often difficult to achieve this milestone. If your relationship can reach this stage, you have nothing to worry about. It takes a while to reach this stage, but you can lose it within the twinkle of an eye.
During this stage, you and your partner will trust each other to the extent that if you catch him or her p*nt down with another person, you will doubt yourself.
But the danger of this stage is that it comes with serious heartbreak. You could run mad if someone you trust so much betrays your love and trust. I have seen people run mad just because their boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with them.
The True Love Stage
This is where everybody aspires to be in a relationship. You see all the fights, arguments, and disagreements you had during the early days of your relationship, they are all tailored towards achieving true love.
Sadly, not every relationship makes it to this stage. But if you make it to this stage, the love you have for your partner will be selfless. Most times, this stage usually happens in marriage. Any marriage that reaches the true love stage seldom experiences divorce.
These are the stages of a relationship every lover experiences. What’s your own experience? Kindly drop it in the comment box, someone can learn from it.
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