10 Potential Responses You Should Give To Your Child When He/She Says Hurtful Things To You(2023)


The echo of hurtful words from an adult child can sting painfully. It’s a delicate dance trying to navigate through these moments, balancing emotional hurt with the need for composure.

While it may be tempting to respond with anger or defensiveness, such reactions often further fuel the flames of disagreement. A more thoughtful approach can pave the way for understanding and repairing the strained relationship.

Here are some examples of potential responses you might try:

1. “I’m really hurt by what you said, and I need some time to process it.” By saying this, you are acknowledging your emotions and emphasizing the need for self-care before continuing the conversation.

2. “I understand you’re upset. Let’s talk about this when we’re both calmer.” This statement underscores the importance of engaging in conversations when emotions are not running high, creating more productive dialogue.

3. “It sounds like you’re really frustrated. Can you tell me more about why you feel this way?” Here, your aim is to make them feel heard and understood, encouraging them to express their feelings more deeply

4. “I see that you’re angry, but I believe we can communicate without hurtful words.” This creates a boundary, asserting that while their feelings are valid, the means of expression shoulkd be respectful.

5. “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I never intended to upset you.” This expression of empathy and remorse demonstrates your willingness to understand their feelings and take responsibility if necessary

6. “Can we discuss this in person? Texts can sometimes miscommunicate emotions.” Suggesting a face-to-face conversation acknowledges the limitations of digital communication and the potential for misunderstanding in that context.

7. “I love you, and I’m always here for you, even when our conversations are difficult.” By reaffirming your love in this way, you reassure them that the relationship withstands the strains of disagreement and conflict.

8. “Can you help me understand your point of view better?” Seeking clarity from them like this showcases your willingness to understand their perspective, even if it differs from yours.

9. “I see we have different opinions on this. It’s important that we respect each other’s viewpoints.” With this response, you’re acknowledging the disagreement while highlighting the importance of mutual respect.

10. “It’s clear we’re both upset right now. Let’s continue this conversation later.” This proposes a temporary break, providing both parties with time to calm down and reflect before resuming the discussion.

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